38 weeks and counting..

(and 17 months and stinkin' cute!)

Who gets sick on top of being 9 months pregnant and miserable?! Geez louise! I'm getting a cold or sinus infection, so I slept terribly and feel terrible this morning. My body is suddenly swelling for some reason, and the pressure between my legs, I kid you not, is nearly unbearable. I woke up every single time I turned over because I was groaning from the discomfort. And I'm not a baby! I usually tolerate pain pretty decently. I'm just praying that this baby girl makes her appearance ASAP. Well, preferrably in a few hours, as I need a few hours to finish the task at hand. What task you ask?
Let me tell you about my night.
We got home about 8 or 9, I don't remember, and after giving myself 20 minutes on the massage chair, I got to work. I started by directing Jordan on where to put the things I'd already sorted in Corban's new room, and then began my bedroom. I ended up cleaning out my closet completely- which was a HUGE task. I then cleaned out all of my dresser drawers, and ended up with 2 trash bags full of clothes for Goodwill. After that, I moved to Corban's room and cleaned out his closet and put into tubs everything he has already outgrown. I finally took everything off of hangers (that had been hanging there since last January, unused.- I put all of his clothes in drawers). I think I need to invest in a few more totes though, as he's now outgrowing his 12 month stuff, and I have no where to put them. His drawers need to be reorganized, but that's the least of my worries today.
My sitting room in my bedroom is still pretty messy. I've taken care of one tote, but have a mountain of clothes to fold and put away on the couch. I still have one tote to go through. Then I need to straiten up my vanity, and my bedroom is completed. You don't know how long it's been since my bedroom has looked even as good as it does right now. It feels good, that's for sure.
I also feel incredibly compulsed to clean out the 'laundry' closet, which is our big closet upstairs. It serves as our linen closet, dirty clothes closet, and Jordan's camping gear closet. And right now, it's doggone messy. I finally have all of the dirty clothes clean, but I now need to clean off the rest of the floor so I can put baskets in there to sort clothes as we dirty them, as opposed to making mountains like I usually do.
Jordan and his buddy Chris ripped up the carpet in the cat pee room (Corban's new room), and man oh man, does it smell like cat pee. I sprayed the subfloor with vinegar to help remove the smell, but we're laying some sealer and laminate wood flooring on top of it, and the carpet and pad have been removed, so I think we'll be alright. Jordan and his dad are laying the laminate today, and then we can move the rooms! Corban's current room is crazy messy because we have every baby thing we own and baby girl stuff and dresser in the middle of the room. Soon and very soon, it'll all be organized. It's so close I can taste it... ahhh.. :)
You have no idea (well, maybe you do) how good it feels to finally get this stuff done, for there to be some organization, to de-clutter. We took out the seats of our van, and it is full of stuff to take to Goodwill, and we're not finished yet. I'm just amazed (and repulsed) at how much excess we have. Normally, I would like to give this stuff to people we know, but I just want it gone. So it's either been in the Goodwill pile, or the trash pile. And both piles are getting reaaaaaaaaaaaly big. But I'm glad.
Anyway, I'm off to tackle the Christmas presents, which are in a giant pile in the living room floor. Then to fold the laundry that's downstairs, and then to finish my bedroom. I'd start there, but Jordan is fast asleep, and I don't want to wake him. Oh- did I mention that I could've slept in today, as my son is with my mom? But no, drainage, discomfort, and pressure kept that from happening. I was up at 7. Boo to that. Anyway, hi ho hi ho, it's off to work I go!

It's a little sad that I don't feel too bad about accomplishing nothing today except cleaning my kitchen. Hey- at least something got done, right?
I had a dr's appointment this morning, and Baby Girl passed her BPP in lightning speed. She had the hiccups duirng the ultra-sound, which counts as the breathing movement, so that sped things along. The lady doing the ultrasound could barely even see any of her head, as it is wedged so far down in my pelvis. Thus the explanation for the extreme discomfort I am now experiencing. Waddling has never seemed so appealing... Even though she is low, she's at -2 station, and I'm only like, 1.5 cm dilated, still 50% effaced. But, it could happen at any time. I was asked (and not told!) that I could schedule my induction for next week if we wanted to go that route. I declined for now, but would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. They will strip my membranes at my next appointment (as I'll be 38.5 weeks), and we'll go from there. My normal doctor (who is very pushy about induction) is out of the office for the next 10 days. The doctor who delivered Corban (and is much more lax) is on call, and has absolutely no problem with letting me go on my own... if it happens before 40 weeks. Once we hit 40 weeks, he is more aggressive. Crossing my fingers that this baby girl comes SOON, and on her own accord.
I'm having a baby. Like for real. And really soon. Realizing that I could plan her birth to be seven days away has made this a sudden reality. Whoa. I'm excited.
I'll be even more excited after Wednesday, because Corban will have a new bedroom, and Baby Girl will have a nursery- not that she'll be in there any time soon, but still.
Anyway, I fell down the stairs tonight... while holding Corban. It really hurt, and I hurt a muscle in my forearm when I fell. Thankfully, we were both fine, but it was really scary! I'm sad to admit that it's the second time in just a few weeks that that has happened, but this time was much more of a fall than the last. It's hard to walk down stairs while practically doing a back bend to keep from falling forward- haha. I successfully ripped the handrailing off of the wall on my most recent fall though. Oops.
And... it's time for bed. Tomorrow is looking to be more productive, as I will be staying home most of the day. Goodnight!

So I'm sitting here, eating popcorn and chugging a 7-up, even though I'm not even a little bit hungry and I don't like the taste of 7-up at all. Procrastination at its finest.

Once upon a time, I had motivation. And energy. And more flexibility than a piece of metal.

However, I am now 37.5 weeks pregnant, not sleeping, and walking around with a bowling ball between my legs. Put those things together, and you have a big pile of laziness. Massive pile. A stinkin mountain, for crying out loud. There is not a clean room in my house. Really. It has mostly to do with me being gone for a week, but Jordan being here for a few days by himself, bringing in 4 garbage bags full of (free!) baby girl clothes, two vehicles worth of Christmas presents, piles of 'take to goodwill' stuff, and a few loads of clean-but-not-yet-folded laundry. Not to mention the needs-to-be-swept kitchen floor, the crumby counters, the carpet screaming for a vacuuming. ..

But here I sit. Putting it all off. Wishing it would clean/sweep/fold/put away itself... all while I sleep until it's time to have this baby.

Anyway. I'm still pregnant. Having lots and lots and lots of contractions. The discomfort of pregnancy is increasing by the moment. Walking is becoming a chore, and I exaggerate not. I'm even starting to swell! Wierd. I'm not a big fan. I can't complain about the swelling though, because it's minimal. I still wear my wedding rings and everything, but they're tight and leave marks, just like the elastic on my socks suddenly do. Hm. I go tomorrow for another appointment, and I'm more than a little afraid to have her check me again. I was a cm dilated and 50% effaced last week. I will cry if things aren't any further this week.

I say all this... but then I think about the condition of my house. How there isn't a clean room, clothes everywhere, dirty floors, etc. You know, all the things I wrote about a few sentences ago. I would be mortified if anyone were to come to my house right now- so it would be bad if I went into labor right now, right? Oh, how impossible am I!?! My poor husband... haha.

Christmas and my birthday were great. It was just nice to be with family. And now, it's nice to be home. Jordan will be off of work Wednesday through the rest of the week, so I'm really looking forward to that. We're going to rip up the carpet in Corban's soon-to-be big boy room and lay a new floor (which we have to decide just what we're going to put down- really, just whatever we can get cheapest is what we'll do). Then I'll be able to put the nursery together and Corban's room together, and I'll feel much better about things. Hopefully, anyway.
So- I've run out of pop to drink, and I can't bring myself to put another kernel of popcorn in my mouth. I guess I have no choice but to go clean my kitchen. And then straiten the living room, and then clean the toilets, and then...
Goodnight, all!! Wish me luck on getting this house clean. Or just come do it for me, either way. :)

Christmas was wonderful.

I'm still pregnant.

It's my birthday!

Happy New Year :)

It was clear! It was clear!
JD's MRI came back free-of-tumor.
We had a tense few moments (okay, when I say tense, I mean we laughed at Brandon nearly falling out the window, and JD throwing his coat on the floor bc he didn't know where else to put it) waiting for Dr. Young to come back and give us the results.
In Kramer fashion, he threw open the door and said "First things first, the MRI looks good." Mom literally jumped and hugged the dr. and was crying, we were all grinning, saying variations of 'oh my goodness' and 'hurray!'. Dr. Young was visibly sharing in our relief, I do believe. It was a sweet moment. The first good news we've recieved in quite some time.
'Twill be a Merry Christmas, indeed.

We had a delicious celebratory dinner (without JD, actually... he and Jack went to the Pacer's game) at the Olive Garden, and Mom and I went shopping afterwards while the boys and Brandon and Holly went back to our house. You could see it in Mom's face... a million pounds have been lifted from her shoulders. She couldn't stop smiling. Such a nice thing...
My plan was to walk out baby girl, but here I sit, as pregnant as ever. I had some serious tenseness/pressure in my lower back this morning- I was basically in fetal position but with my belly towards the ground trying to relieve it. It worked some, until I got up. But anyway. She'll come when she's good and ready, I suppose. But I do feel like I can have her now, that I can focus on her and not be wishing the timing of this all were different. I know there's still a long road ahead, with JD and everything, but this is tremendous news and we're still treating just cells, not a tumor. Praise the Lord... for real.
I woke up this morning to the sweetest voice in the world saying "DaaaDaaa. MaaaaMaaaa." Definitely a great way to start the day. SO I'm off to enjoy my boys, a family Christmas today, a family Christmas tomorrow. Merry Christmas!

I don't feel up for the challenge today.
What challenge? Any of 'em, really.
I'm just feeling worn down, defeated, miffed, sad...
I could make a long list of all the reasons and things that are making me feel the above feelings, but I'll spare you the 'woe is me' post.
Bottom line- I need to get my eyes off of me and back on Jesus.




Can I just tell you that I am so, so, so thankful for this little guy though?






When I'm feeling like the first part of this post says, all it takes is one little snuggle from my Corban, and man oh man, do I realize that I've got it pretty good.

I think he knows something is up, that his world is about to be rocked (haha). All of a sudden, he is such a snuggler, asks for 'mama', wants to sit on my lap, etc. I'm loving it, but it makes me wonder....

He got 3 new teeth this week! Two molars, and a third bottom front tooth. He's added tons of new words to his vocabulary, learned how to wash his hands and put on lotion, and successfully unfolded every article of clothing I folded this week. He is suddenly in love with shoes, and walks around to all of my Christmas decorations (santa's, snowmen, etc.) and points out their shoes. He pulls down my dish towels every stinkin time he walks through the kitchen. And he likes to snuggle his mama, but just for a minute. What a boy I have. :-D I sooo love being his Mom, and am so thankful that I get to stay home with him.

There. I feel better already. He's fussing in his crib, which means he's probably thrown his paci, gotten rid of all his blankets, and run out of articles within reach to throw. So, off to rescue him I go. Happy Weekend!

Oh, and if you think about it, please be praying for my brother JD. He has his first post-op MRI today, the first one since chemo has started. Be praying for a clear report. I'm so nervous...

I am so tired.

I tossed and turned...
and then tossed and turned....
and tossed and turned some more
until Corban got up at 5:55a.m. I feel so tired right now.
And so, my friends, while my precious, rambunctious baby boy, who now is the posessor of 9 teeth sleeps... I think I will do the same.
I'm off to snuggle up into my bed and pray that an hours worth of sleep will make up for my lack of nighttime slumber.
Any good middle names to go with the name Cate?
Just wondering. You know, in case someone wants to name their daughter that one day.
My baby girl probably won't have a name until we meet her. Which I'm praying is soon, by the way. I had another over-an-hour bout of 4 minute apart contractions last night. They continued off and on throughout the night, and have been sporatic today. A handful of them have been pretty uncomfortable, but not regular, so it's just my body practicing, surely. I'm sure that she's dropped though, as I know how sciatic nerve pain down the back of my leg, feel like there's a bowling ball resting in between my hips, and can no longer find a shirt to cover the bottom few inches of my stomach. 4 more weeks of this?! Oh Lord, please, no! Haha. I'm not really that miserable. Just impatient and sleep deprived. Don't laugh at me. I got less sleep pregnant then I did when Corban was a newborn. I'm praying for another one of those.
Anyway, I'm rambling, this is pointless, and I'm wasting valuable shut-eye time. Off to dreamland I go...

brrrrrrrrr

Winter has made its appearance in mid-central Indiana. I guess it's alright, seeing as Christmas is 9 days away. Come January 1st, though, it can pack its bags and head right on out. After all, anyone who has been to Target or any other store knows that summer is right around the corner, with all the bathing suits and such making an appearance. Yes, seriously. Mid-December shoppers have a wide array of stinking bathing suits to choose from. And I thought it was nuts to see Christmas decorations in October. Let's not even put the summer stuff away next year, alright? Christmas decoration, all year round. Winter jackets? Let's put them out in April... you know, for those who like to shop 8 months in advance.
Geez, Louise!
Anyway, it is bitterly cold today, as it was yesterday. My new windows are doing a much better job keeping the house warm than our former non-windows ever dreamed of doing. It'd probably be warmer in here if I'd allow the thermostat to be set above 65, but anything warmer than that, and I'm sweating. This crazy pregnant body! We're supposed to get our first batch of bad weather tonight. Freezing rain, snow, and the like. It's supposed to be hitting around 3 or so this afternoon... I was supposed to go to the heart doctor today, but I post-poned my appointment because I didn't want to be driving in the weather. I'd be driving when the weather was supposed to be the worst, in the busiest part of indiana, during rush hour traffic. No, thanks.
I finished Christmas shopping today! Wooo!! And, I am very pleased with my purchases. I really really enjoy Christmas shopping. It's the wrapping that I find dreadful. Wanna come wrap my presents for me?
Whenever I cough, Corban barks. It's the funniest thing! And- he got 2 new teeth today!! One top molar, and one of his bottom front teeth. He's up to 8 now.
Oh, and speaking of new things!- This week, we got a new (used) 52 inch television, and a new (used) fridge. Just given to us. Randomly. Things that were far from necessary, but an absolute blessing. We are very thankful... I'm especially thankful for the fridge!!! I've been wanting (and needing) more freezer space.
My Baby Girl (whom, I'm sorry, Aunt Holly, is still without a name)'s bumper pad came in today. A rare occurance, imo, but I like it even more so in person than I did in the picture! It's beautiful!! And the backside of it, which I couldn't see from the picture, is pale yellow, green, and white stripes. It's perfect. Exactly what I was wanting, and then some. The right amount of girl to it, without being overwhelmingly pink. Yessssss! I can't wait to put her room together, but I have to do Corban's room first. But Jordan has to do the floor in Corban's room before that. And we have to decide what we want to do before that. And so the list goes.
Anyway, Corban is pulling wipes out and pretending to blow his nose on them, so I must go put a stop to it before the wipes run out. Ha. Adios!

whoa, baby!

So I went for my weekly appointment today, and during my ultrasound they measured my baby girl. If you watch the screen while they're measuring, you can see the "gestational age" according to the measurements... I kept thinking they seemed further along then I am--- and I was right. I told the ultrasound-tech that she seemed really big, and she responded 'No, she's just measuring 2 days ahead of your due date.' I was baffled, and then asked what due date they had for me. Uh huh... January 8th. Meaning, she was measuring at January 6th. (And my due date is January 16th). Meaning that she's much bigger than your average 35.5 weeker, weighing in at (approximately, I know) 6 lbs. 9 oz.!!! With a month to go!!
Whoa, baby.
She's in the 80th percentile.
I was worried about my lack of 'newborn' sized clothes, but I'm thinking they may not be too necessary. Corban was 7lbs 10 oz. when he was born. I was 8 lbs. 5 oz. myself, and Jordan (my big, beefy husband- haha) was a mere 6 lbs. Looks like she's going to beat her brother, if she keeps cooking in there!
You know what didn't get bigger though? Me!!! I was 1.5 lbs lighter than my last appointment, making my weight gain 28.5 lbs, and not 30. I like that better. Haha.
Anyway, we've got a busy week ahead here. I go to see my electro-physiologist tomorrow, Wednesday is church, Thursday I'm hanging out with a friend, and then Brandon and Holly come in the evening, and Friday is JD's first post-op MRI, and first MRI since starting chemo. Please be praying it comes back clear... Saturday, we have a family Christmas with Jordan's grandpa, and Sunday, we have Christmas with the Taylor cousins. Phew! I'm tired just thinking about it.
And then the next week is Christmas. Holy moly.
I'm full-term the day after, and man oh man, it would just be fantastic if this little girl would come in December, when everyone is off of work and in Indiana already. It sure would make things easier for everyone, myself included. :) I do have her clothes organized, her big brother has a big-boy bed, things are approaching readiness. Oh, to be patient....
I'm off to shower while Corban naps, and then I'm making a dreadful trip to the grocery store. We're out of everything, but I simply do not want to go. And man, it's cold outside!

much ado about what to-do... haha

After over an hour of 3 minute apart contractions last night, I realized that this baby's arrival is just around the corner. With her arrival just around the corner, I realized that I need to get ready for her. My mind has been reeling with things I need to do and so guess what!? You get to see my to-do list. Mostly because I left my journal in the car, and don't want to go outside. And a little bit because I simply like blogging.

• Wash car seat cover.
• Put batteries in swing and bouncy seat.
• Empty cradle of Corban's baby things.
• Put cradle in our bedroom.
• Clean bedroom.
• Catch up on laundry (yeah.. right).
• Buy baby girl newborn socks, winter hat, and headbands. (okay, so those aren't pressing issues... but they're fun!)
• Pack hospital bag.
• Take mountain of random things on Corban's big boy room floor to Goodwill.
• Clean out Corban's closet.
• Return borrowed baby boy clothes.

There you have it. Aside from the normal to-do stuff, like sweep the kitchen and clean the toilets, there's the things that I really would like to have done before this Baby Girl makes her entrance. Oh, and about the contractions... it was like this when I was pregnant with Corban, and it makes for a really miserable last month. I'll be on edge from here on out, wondering if 'this is it.' I started having regular contractions at 34 weeks with Corban, and was hooked up to fluids to try and stop them. The fluids did nothing at all, but I wasn't dilating, so I was sent on my way. I endured random bouts of regular contractions for the remainder of my pregnancy, but none of them did a darned thing. Poo.

I've had a handful of regular ctx this time around, but never with either pregnancy have they been 3 minutes apart. These weren't painful, but uncomfortable, and I could really feel it in my back. I woke up at 3 a.m. with some pretty intense waves of cramping as well, but I didn't bother timing them, and eventualyl fell back asleep.

What concerns me about it all is knowing when they're real thing. I was induced with Corban, given Cervadil and pitocin, and eventually a Folley bulb to manually open my cervix, since I wasn't dilating. The bulb opened me to 5 cm, the dr. broke my water after that, and I got an epideral at 6 cm. They had the pit maxed out on the second day, and the third day (with the bulb) was the day I was actually laboring, but with the pitocin. There was never a point during any of my induction that I was having to breathe through contractions or anything like that. After they broke my water, they definitely were more intense and I was having to have Jordan push on my back, but aside from that, it really was pretty much the same thing I'd been feeling for weeks. So what- do I just wait until my water breaks? How do you know it's the real thing, when you've been having 'real' contractions for a month!? I know it'll all work out, but I'm going to have to spend a lot of time praying to not be anxious for the remainder of the pregnancy, as this 'not knowing' business drives me crazy.

Anyway, off to start working on my list. First task at hand: laundry. Ew. Good day!

a new 'trick'...

I was soundly sleeping this morning, when all of a sudden I heard my son crying...


right outside of my bedroom door!

What?! Jordan sprung out of bed faster than I've ever seen him move, and sure enough, it really was Corban at our door. Uh oh. He hadn't been fussing or crying, or even babbling... we heard nothing in the monitor (which I double checked, and it was on). We could see his escape route when we got to his room- but now the dilemna- what do we do!?
I can't close his door because it'll get too hot with his space heater. I could try a gate, but it'll be just days before he figures out how to climb over it, I'm sure. I guess we'll have to do the inevitable, what we've been planning on doing anyway... moving him to his big-boy bed.

Anyway, we're off to an ear re-check appointment, with a little detour at Super Target. Then home again, home again. We've stayed in a ton this week, and it's been good for us, I think. Especially with my sick kiddo.
Oh- and I finished the trim in one of our living rooms. I've decided to take it one room at a time, one per day. It's a lot less overwhelming this way.
And that dreadful nausea you get first trimester of pregnancy? Well, first and second, if you're like me? Well- it's returned. And gag reflex is in full force. I'm just waiting for the stomach contents to follow. Why oh why? Isn't it enough that I'm toting around 30 extra pounds, a watermelon in front, have absolutely no energy, a zitty face...? We really have to throw in morning sickness again? Haha. Baby Girl, come quickly. :)

And on that note, I'm off. I need a glass of ice water like I need my next breath. Adios.

I'm just sitting here, nearing 2 p.m., still in pajamas... listening to my precious son exclaim "Football! Football!" over and over and over. Oh, but he stopped, and now he's singing a sweet song, in a language that only he understands. Have I mentioned lately that I absolutely love being a mom? Seriously. This week hasn't been without challenges, a few pulled hairs, some tears, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it for the world.

Enough of the sentimental babbling. Look what I just bought!:

I only ordered the bumper pad, as it was all we needed. I have really cute sage green curtains, and am still debating on what color(s) we'll paint the walls, but will probably do a creamy yellow and tan. My in-laws are giving us this neat looking dresser they have, and we'll paint it cream. If I find a rocking chair at Goodwill or on Craigslist, I'll purchase it, possibly paint it too... same with a book shelf. I'm having fun dreaming up a nursery... (Oh, just to add- it's from Pottery Barn, but I got it super clearanced and paid $29.99 [originally $80] for it... the same as I was going to pay for the one at Babies R Us!)

Corban's 'big boy' room is slowly being mentally assembled. And we have (in real life) some pieces of it, but none of them are actually in the room. We're doing an 'outdoor/camping' theme for him, and I'm really excited about it. We've got a green comforter with tan sheets and tan curtains. I'm using big ole sticks for his curtain rods. We don't have this bedding set, but are getting most of the matching room accessories- a lantern, lamp, pillows, wall clock, etc. It's from Target, and is Wollrich brand, in case you're wondering. I'm sooo excited about it. I haven't officially decided on wall colors for him yet either, but they will be mostly dark tan/brownish, and I'm debating between a shade of orange and green. So we'll see. I like colors, lots of them, in case you haven't noticed. Most rooms in our house have more than one color.

Anyway- I made a delicious (if I do say so myself) pot of chili for lunch today. Jordan was actually able to come home and join us, so that was a nice treat. Corban eats up his time with Daddy. I love watching the two of them together. But Corban is napping now, and my house looks as though a tornado has made its way through it, mostly because instead of following behind and cleaning up, I laid on the couch and watched as Corban emptied baskets, pulled things off of shelves, etc. So- I'm off to put this place back together, and perhaps nap myself... or at least snuggle up on the couch and read a book.

just mama today

Good morning!

Yesterday was in fact a long day, but we survived. And today is off to a much better start, despite the sink overflowing with (stinky!) dishes, laundry needing to be washed, and trash sprinkled throughout the house from our white elephant gift exchange we had Sunday night with the youth group. Those are small things, right? My mom had this cross-stitched wall hanging growing up, and I always loved what it said... "So quite down cobwebs, and dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep." Oh, to maintain such a perspective! But if I've ever seen it, believed it, it's now.

I've been hit in the face with ample doses of reality here recently, and it's been good. It's good to realize what really does matter, what's worth letting lie, when to call it quits, when it's worth being worked up. Granted, I've got a long way to go before this realization makes the trek from my mind to my heart, but it's a place to start. I know that I will never look back on these days of Corban as a toddler and think, "Man, I sure wish I would've done a better job keeping up with the laundry. I sure wish my kitchen floor was cleaner..." So, right now, while he sleeps, I'm enjoying a few 'me' moments, and then I'll suck it up and get to work. But when he wakes up, I'm all his. We've got some time we need to make up. Our life has been chaos the last few months, a routine non-existant, our time just at home in our jammies to play and lay around and read books and snuggle-- hasn't happened. And I only have a few more weeks with just my sweet boy, and I want to savor every last second. So- off to work I go. I'll tackle the dishes now, and then we'll see what else gets accomplished, but I'm ready to just be Mama for the day.

not off to a good start...

So yesterday when I got home from church, I decided to clean the toilets. I ventured into our master bath, which is usually left completely alone- door shut and all. We literally do not use it for anything. It's got an avacado green sink and shower stall, torquoise shag carpet, etc. Nasty. On top of that, it was never cleaned. Like ever. The shower has layers upon layers upon layers of nastiness sitting in it. I spray the outside of the door and the bottom along the floor with bleach weekly, because there used to be a nice layer of mold growing there. Yuck. But, that's as far as our involvement goes.
So back to yesterday... I go in to clean the toilet. The shower head has always leaked, and you'd always hear a drip- but when I was in there I noticed that the drip was water hitting water. Uh oh. So I hold my breath, open the door and see that there is water standing completely even to the lip of the door (it's just a stall, remember- not a tub). Oh, crap. Upon further investigation when jordan got home, we realized that it has overflowed, as the front and floor are both damp. Crap again. So- I make my way downstairs, unsure of what to do at this point. I am in kitchen and start trying to think about what would be below that shower (it's upstairs). I then realize that it'd be my kitchen by my oven. I walk there, look up, and find a wet ceiling. Oh brother.
At that point, I called Jordan, and then went up stairs to start filling a pitcher and dumping water, trying to empty the stall. It was a very slow process. When Jordan got home, he got out the shop-vac and emptied it that way. He poured draino or something along those lines down the drain, and it's still sitting there, 24 hours later. Well, that plus more water.
We're waiting to hear from our insurance guy, and will go from there I guess. I'm just hoping and praying that it's not going to cost us a ton of money!!! I'm a little anxious about it all, really, and cannot wait to hear what Monte has to say.
Anyway, on top of that, we were up a good portion of the night with Corban- he's got a terrible cough and just coughed all night long- it even kept him up this time, which it usually does not. :( He's definitely not acting himself today, so I'm going to have to call the doctor, yet again. My poor kiddo is always sick! I was going to have someone watch him for me today so I could go to my OB appointment and then to chemo with JD, but they're sick and Corban's sick, so that won't be happening. Overall, I'm in a pretty foul mood. lol. I would really like to curl up in my bed with a good book, but that won't be happening. And I want so badly to be there with JD. But, it's best that I stay away with my son being sick and all.
Anyway, I'm off to finish getting ready. A happier Monday to you!

7 things about Corban at 7:30.

C-O-R-B-A-N

1. My son is already in bed... and has been for 30 minutes. This is what happens when afternoon naps are neglected.


2. My son is a human garbage disposal. He will wrestle you down for that bite of popcorn, or climb Mt. Everest to reach that slice of orange. There's no measure he won't take to get himself a bite of cracker. So beware. You've been warned... now warn your kiddos.


3. Mr. Corban has the best laugh in the whole entire world. There's not a greater noise in the anywhere. Debate with me if you must, but I'm telling the truth. And if you heard him, you'd agree.


4. Mr. Corban also has quite the temper. I'm currently experimenting with disciplinary action, so if you have any suggestions- do tell. So far ineffective: spanking, time out, going to bed, restraining.... All that's left is removing limbs. But I'd like to keep him alive past his second birthday, and keep him in my custody as well. Hmmm.. But for real- he will yell at you, throw himself on the ground, slam his fists and kick his feet, and my personal favorite (not)- headbutt. What I've done today and I think if I consistantly do it, we may get somewhere... but when he would throw a fit (which was often, unfortunately), I would take him to a chair in the corner of the office, sit him on my lap, and hold him close, arms down to his side. Oh, he screamed, reared back, etc. but after a minute, he'd just be sad. And then I'd pray with him, tell him I loved him, and let him go about his business. A time-out of sorts, I suppose. The parenting part of being of a parent is hard, ladies and gentlemen!


5. Corban, or stinky boy as he's often referred to around my house, associates any spelling or letters said with Old Mac Donald. You sing the ABC's? His response: "O-O-O-I-E-O." You spell his name? "E-E-E-O-E". You sing Old Mac Donald? "Woof. Woof." The kid's a riot. :)


6. His brain works just like his fathers. I'm serious. If you know Jordan at all, you know that, well... he's a little off the wall. Corban thinks on the same field, I think. For example, I asked him to put away the football playstation game cases (which he searches for and carries around all day long). He looks at me, walks up into the office, into the kitchen, opens the cabinet, sets the games neatly in a pot, shuts the cabinet and comes back down to the living room. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. He picked up a piece of paper in the office. I asked him to put it in the trash... so he walks into the kitchen, takes a little turn into the bathroom, opens the toilet, puts the paper in, shuts the lid, walks back out. I couldn't help but laugh! I've also found a glass of milk in that drawer underneath the oven, shoes in kitchen pots, diapers in the toilet, etc. Oh what a boy. :) Also like his daddy, he loves to laugh and make others laugh. And he's darn good at it too.


7. Corban Gabriel McG is all boy. Everything about him screams masculine, with the exception of his forever-long eyelashes. He has more energy than I could ever dream of having. He's obsessed (seriously) with football. He's very rough... likes to wrestle and tackle and throw and growl. Loves cars and dogs. Dislikes anything that requires him to be still or quiet. Wouldn't dream of watching TV. Thinks dolls are made for throwing. Laughs at bodily noises. He's very strong-willed, determined. Climbs anything that he can. Loves Daddy so much it's unbelievable. Refuses to say 'mama' ever... He's not a snuggler, but gives love head-butts on occassion, and chin kisses when the mood strikes. He absolutely loves to sleep, and let's you know when it's time for 'niiiiii niiii'. He will lay his head on you if you've got his blankie and he has his paci, but only for a minute, and he wants put in bed and left alone. Will win your heart with just one smile, have you wrapped around his finger with a bat of those gorgeous eyes. He's my precious, sweet sweet boy and I cannot imagine my life without him. He brings me more joy than I ever dreamed possible. The depth of the love I have for him far surpasses anything I ever imagined bestowing on anything or anyone.


And- he's darn cute too. :) See?

in case you were wondering...

• what 34 weeks pregnant looks like, the second time around:

• what my kitchen (okay, one corner of it) used to look like:

• what that same corner of my kitchen looks like now:

• what my bathroom used to look like (and please, take note of the choo-choo train border, peach walls, and red-white-blue SHAG CARPET):
• what my bathroom looks like now:
  

And that, folks, is just a small taste of the improvements we've made on our home. If I didn't hate the way pictures worked on blogger, and if I didn't need to be preparing my house for company, I would show some more examples. But that should be enough to whet your appetite, no? :) Happy Tuesday!

Well, I had planned on finally painting my trim during this time, but a snack and a hot shower sounded better, so here I sit.
I just ate some Tomato Basil wheat thins, and they leave the most terrible taste in your mouth! Gross!
Did you realize that it's December?

Whoa.
I am winding down on the pregnancy side of things. I'm 33 weeks and some odd days, putting me less than a month from full-term, and like 6.5 weeks from my due date. Whoa. In case you didn't catch it, my pregnancy is almost over. My life with just one child is almost over. My days of being a family of three... almost done. It's hard to wrap my mind around really, but it's becoming more of a reality every day. One of my best friends is 3 days past her due date, but she's been my reference point this whole time... once Wendi's there, I'm almost there. And, well, she's there! She'll be having baby Audri any time now. Whoa again.

I'm feeling decent, just very pregnant. Baby Girl is sitting so low. My belly is getting huge. Braxton Hicks contractions becoming more frequent. The number on the scale is getting high. The number of shirts that still fit me... low. I'm tired, alot. Nesting in high gear. Wanting to eat chocolate and popcorn constantly. You know, those kinds of things.

My son is awesome. No really, he is. And cute too. What? It's true. :) I can't get enough of him. He's talking and babbling up a storm. He's getting so stinkin' smart. And he's wierd, like his daddy, already. But he gives the best slobbery kisses and sweetest little hugs... and most terrible headbutts when he doesn't get his way. He's a really good cleaner-upper, and loves Daaada sooo much. And DayDee. And I-Zee. (those are two of his four uncles- he loves the others, just doesn't say their names). He loves dogs and lights and outside... except says them as 'dawdee, yights, and ayide'. I can't forget to mention that he is absolutely obsessed with football. Seriously. It's incredible. He looked at a Peyton Manning book for a whole entire HOUR. If you have children, you know this is quite a feat. He'll even somewhat watch it on TV, which won't hold his attention any other time. I love being home with him, and I really, truly love being his mom. And I tell him that every day, and I want to tell him that every day for the rest of his life.

JD is doing really well. Really, really well, all things considered. He handled first round of chemo pretty easily, with some nausea and tiredness, but really that was all. He's beoming quite the Scrabble player, and that's frustrating. :) He kicks my rear more often then not! No, I'm so proud of him and his attitude and how he's carried himself and walked through all of this... along with my parents but specifically my Mom. She's left no question in where her hope lies or Who she trusts. I can say without any sort of reservation that God truly is getting the glory and honor and praise despite the adversity being faced. My Mom is an awesome woman. If you don't know her... well, that stinks. You're missing out. :)

My husband... well, he's really good looking. He got a hair cut this week, and man! I'm a lucky woman. Haha. But seriously, we enjoyed being able to just relax together this week and have time together as a family. We've got a busy 3 months coming up (on top of the addition of a child!), but most of the things we have, we get to be together for. I'm thankful for that. He's been really really awesome for me this last month, holding me while I fall apart, praying for me, encouraging me to be there with my family. He's a good man, and really I mean it when I say I'm a lucky woman. :)

Anyway, there's an update on my life in a nutshell. Maybe I'll have more exciting things to say or pictures to post later in the week. Until then.... enjoy the Christmas season!

'twas a happy thanksgiving... but a boring post.

Hello there!
Our loooong weekend was quite enjoyable. Really, the whole week seems like a blur, but I'll try to recap. I actually did NOT take any pictures, as I had left my camera in the car on accident. Oops!
I spent all of Tuesday night cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and man- did my downstairs look good! I was pleased, at least... but I'm not too tough of a critic when it comes to cleanliness- haha. But it was dusted, vaccuumed, swept, mopped, organized, toy box cleaned, tub scrubbed, sinks cleaned, laundry folded. Ahhh... a clean home. :) Brandon and Holly got in late- like 1 ish I think, and we briefly chatted and went to bed.
Wednesday, Brandon and Holly left around 11a.m. to head to Holly's Mom's, and I finished some laundry and packing, and when Jordan got home shortly after 1, we headed to Cville. I took JD and Jordan with me to the grocery store (mistake) to get some things for Mom. There were no carts available when we got there, and the place was a mad house... and I had two boys and a baby with me! It was chaotic, but we managed. I was somehow conned into making dinner- haha- but I made a darn good Mexican Lasagna, and it was nearly all eaten between Jordan, myself, Mom, JD, and Corban. A success, I'd say. I'm sure we played a game or two of Scrabble somewhere in there, too. It was nice to just be home though, and with my family.
Thursday we continued our annual tradition of starting the day at the Sugar Creek Pie Run. This was my first- and hopefully last- year as a walker. It was nice to walk and chit chat with Mom and Aunt Lisa... but it's just not the same as racing. And plus, I usually put in close to 10 miles on Thanksgiving morning, and I put in just over 2 with my walk. I've been getting that itch recently... I am SO ready to run. And I want to really do it this time, like actually get back into shape. I think with two babies and ministry and house cleaning and cooking, I am going to want the time to myself and the stress relief. And I want to prove to myself that I still have it in me, that I can still be disciplined and motivated. Anyway. We had a delicious meal at Mom's, with the wonderful company of Aunt Lisa, Uncle Jay, Ally, Grandma Barb, Aunt Jo, Mom, Jack, JD, Jordan, Corban, and myself. Unfortunately, there wasn't too much leftover. Shucks. Ha. We played some intense catch phrase, and then headed to Jordan's family's house, where we ate again, chit-chatted, played apples to apples, just hung out. The boys played football on the play station or whatever they have.. and it was fun to watch them just be brothers. :)
Friday came way too early, as I got up at 4:40a.m. to begin Black Friday shopping at 5. Well, we left at 5, I guess. After a quick run through Starbucks drive through, we began our annual tradition (Brandon, Holly, and myself) of hitting Target, Family Christian bookstore, the mall, Wal-Mart, etc. We started shopping at 6, took a break for lunch, and got home around 4. I was beat. It was Brandon's 28th birthday (which, btw, is 2 years away from 30!-haha), so we went to dinner at Little Mexico to celebrate. Some of his friends came over that evening to celebrate, and we played MORE catch phrase. The girls completely dominated, winning 8 out of 10 games. Woo!! While it was a fun day, I was in every way exhausted. For the first time in 2 pregnancies, I had swelling. My calves felt like rocks and looked so big! My legs ached, my back ached, and I couldn't crawl into bed fast enough. I slept SO hard that night.
Unfortunately, Brandon and Holly had their second annual post-Black-Friday sickness, and had some sort of stomach bug the next day. Bummer. We didn't see Holly at all on Saturday, as she quarantined herself in the bedroom. Brandon didn't get sick until that night at his bday party with his friends. Bummer again. They headed back to PA today, but will be home in a few weeks.

Now that you've read my incredibly exciting recap, I hope you had a great holiday with your families as well. It was so nice just to be together, to be relaxing, enjoying the nothing-to-do schedule. The chaos, er, Christmas season has kicked off (haha- it really is my favorite time of year), and our weekends are pretty much packed between here and New Years- barring no birth of Baby Girl. I'm hoping to get out Christmas decorations tomorrow- but it's dependant on Jordan climbing up to the attic for me. Anyway, enough of this long, detailed, boring post. Good night!

My motivation got stuck somewhere between midnight and this morning, and I have yet to find it. Any ideas on where to find some? haha. I was a painting, er, priming machine last night, as I put a second coat on every piece of wood-stained anything downstairs, and the trim in the upstairs bathroom. It's safe to say that I am a hater of primer, and would be perfectly content to never paint another piece of trim again. But lucky for me, I now get to PAINT all of that which I so time consumingly primed. It already looks a million and a half times better though, in case you were wondering. Much cleaner looking, more modern. I can finally say that I really, really like our house. It's becoming ours, starting to look like what I envisioned a year ago. Tis a good feeling! Pictures to come soon...

We went today for our first biophysical profile (BPP) for Baby Girl McG. These will now be happening once a week. Kind of pointless, really... because if my baby did have my heart condition, there wouldn't be a darn thing that could be done, unless she miraculously had an episode while I was getting a BPP, which... is pretty impossible, as it took all of 3 minutes for her to 'pass' the test. Anyway, I certainly don't mind the time watching my baby, but it's a long drive for 3 minutes of ultrasound. Anyway- she looked good, is head down, hands in front of face, moving like crazy. I'm now 33 weeks along. What?! Where has this time gone? 7 weeks remaining... it doesn't seem possible. I remember being this far along with Corban, and the anticipation, and feeling like he was going to be here 'any day now'... but this time around I feel like 7 weeks is lightyears away, that I have all the time in the world. Ha! My growing abdomen says otherwise, let me tell you. I'm definitely entering (okay- let me rephrase that... I'm in!) the uncomfortable stage. So for that reason, I'm thankful that there's 'just' 7 more weeks. But for a million other reasons, I'm thankful for those 49 days.

Brandon and Holly come tonight!! Have I mentioned that I love this time of year?? :) They'll get in around 11, and will leave around lunchtime tomorrow, but we'll see them again Thursday evening. And then Friday (which is Brandon's 28th(!!) birthday) we will join the crowds and chaos for that fun little thing called Black Friday. I've been looking forward to this day for months. :) I've got a pretty good list going of things I need from different places, and should be able to do the bulk of my remaining shopping. My one goal for this year is to be done wrapping before Christmas eve. :) Anyway, there's nothing too organized or formal going on this weekend, but it'll be a lot of QFT (quality family time), as my mom says. So excited!!

Well, Corban is asleep, and I really do have a tremendous amount of things that I'd like to get finished before Brandon and Holly get in tonight, so I should suck it up and get to work. I doubt I'll post before- so Happy Thanksgiving!!!

edit------------
So I did it, I mustered up the strength to get going... got out all of my paint supplies, etc. Grabbed the can of paint from the table, that I put there from the garage, only to discover that it wasn't an unopened can of white paint- but a can of RED! Gr. So I make my way to the uh.. paint closet (really, it is), where there is an embarassingly large mountain of paint cans. Found two more that didn't have the 'mixed' stickers, no paint on the side, so I figured I was in luck. Nope. One tan, one yellow. Seriously. THREE GALLONS of colored paint, unopened, unused. And with no plans of being used. What a waste! We majorly over-estimated when buying paint, I'd say. Man, I could sure use that $50 right about now, too. I called the Wal-Mart we bought them from, and they said they wouldn't return them. Oh dear. So now I'm out $50, and I still need white paint. I'm going to call the two other near-by wal-marts just to see what they say... hahaha. :)

Quick update-
I just talked to Mom and JD finished up chemo fine. He hasn't gotten sick, isn't feeling bad, and is just in the back seat of the car singing the cheemo song that he and Jordan made up today. They think he was feeling 'blah' like he was before we left because he ate waaay too late of a lunch- it was 2p.m. when we finally ate. Next time, they'll pack snacks and we'll be sure to have lunch to him at a normal time, and hopefully that will make a difference.
Hoping and praying that the night continues as smoothly for him!

It's been a hard day. Emotional for me, at least. We made it through the majority of first round of chemo pretty smoothly, pretty normal, really. We played a game of scrabble, Jordan and JD made up songs, made up games, laughed about cheemo, as they were calling it. But there were some intense moments of reality- and I wasn't and am not ready for that.
This isn't going to be an easy road. Superman couldn't breeze through treatments like that, I don't think. I'm so thankful that we were able to be there to distract JD most of the day, as it has the potential to make for a long, boring afternoon... with 5 hours stuck to an IV pole. But I'm afraid. Afraid of a lot of things, quite honestly, but I'm really worried about this being hard for JD. Towards the end of the afternoon you could see it... you knew JD wasn't feeling himself. Feeling 'blah' was the term we agreed on. Unsettled stomach, cold, etc. I can't imagine feeling sick before it was even over, potentially feeling bad for a few days, and knowing that you had to do it every other week. It'd be more than a little disheartening. I hope he can continue to keep his head up like he has through 5 surgeries and 6.5 weeks of radiation. Just one more thing to be praying for.

The ride home was when I let my mind get the best of me. No need for details, but I eventually pulled myself together, and came to a very real realization:

I am really thankful for laughter.

Now that might seem like a wierd conclusion to draw at a time like this, but if you've ever met my family, my little brother, or my husband you know that sense of humor and laughter are core to their being. Take that away, and well, they'd be someone else. We sat in the lobby of the Peyton Manning's Childen's Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases and cracked up for hours. Seriously. And then we moved back to the area where the chemo recipients usually go, and laughed back there. My little brother is a riot. Even in the midst of all of this mess, he's made joke after joke after joke. Sure, maybe it's part defense mechanism, but JD is a hilarious guy. And my husband too. And then you put them together... and you have half-hour of "Cheemo sucks and gives me gas" sung over and over... in the lobby, mind you!
Anyway, my point being... the ability of my loved ones to maintain their senses of humor despite all of this has made things much easier. And I'm really grateful for that.

I'm so thankful that we can sit and laugh together, have fun together, just be together. I wouldn't trade a moment of that for anything. Really, we have so much to be thankful for, I have so much to be thankful for. It's so easy to lose perspective, to get wrapped up in the here and now. But I don't want to do that. I want to maintain a heart of thankfulness, regardless of the circumstances I face. Anyway...
I'm really exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open, and I have about 873 loads of laundry that need done. Yuck. But, my son is napping (or at least laying quietly in his crib), and I'm going to take advantage of this time and try and get some stuff done. Please continue praying for our family, for JD, for his health, attitude, for that stupid tumor to stay away... for sense of humor, for lots of laughter....

Lots and lots of laughter. If nothing else, it sure makes my days easier. :)

our house... in the middle of our street..our house...

Mostly I just wanted to write that I am mere DAYS away from being able to post before/after shots of most of the inside of my house. I'm sure this is not anywhere near as exciting for you as it is for me, but man, does it feel good.
We bought this house in mid-January. It was disgusting, to say the least. It was built in 1974 and had ALL of the original decor. I'm talking harvest gold countertops, flower-power wall paper, shag carpet in every color of the rainbow, even an avocado green shower! Whoa. Sick. Not only was it never updated, it was rarely cleaned. Ew. Sicker. But for some reason, we bought it anyway. (That's a joke, btw).
So maybe you're wondering- just why DID we buy the house? The house had lots of appeal to us, really. We came and looked at it early in our house hunting, which was many months before we bought the house, but there was just way too much work to be done, and it was already outside of our price range. Speaking of which, let me remind you... my husband works full-time for a church, and I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so our price range was not large, to say the least. And let me also add that we live in one of the wealthiest areas of Indiana, so the houses within our price range... few and far between. Unless we wanted to live in tha' hood, anyway. But back to our house.
We ended up putting offers in on two (or was it three?) different houses in this nearby neighborhood. It was less than 10 minutes from the church (which we were wanting) and outside of Marion County (which we preferred- b/c of ridiculous taxes). The homes were all built within the last 7 or so years, so they were in pretty good condition. The houses appraised nearly $30,000 above what we would've paid for them - but this was because they were repo's. Anyway, we got outbid (and we offered asking price!) and didn't get any of them in that neighborhood. Poo. We were looking at probably 5-7 houses once a week, for months. Fast forward a little while, and Jordan has a dream about this house. That morning, he tells me he thinks we should go look at it again. I liked it well enough, it was just too expensive, but I agreed we'd go. Come to find out later that day, the house had dropped $15,000 in price! Whoa Mama! All of a sudden, it was seeming very possible.
Long story short, we come back and quickly decide this is it, this is the one we want. After months (literally) of all kinds of junkola with ESCROW and blah blah blah, it was ours.
Oh yeah- I'm supposed to be writing why we wanted this house...
First of all, it's not in a one-on-top-of-the-other, cookie-cutter neighborhood, which is verrrrry rare around here, and especially within our price range. It also sits on .75 of an acre. This is really small if you're from the country like me, but it's giant compared to the .17 that one of the houses we put in offer on had. It also has cornfields across the street and behind the house, instead of rows of other houses. It's much bigger than most of the other houses we looked at, at just at 2000 sq. ft. It has lots of 'living room' type areas... two sunken living rooms, a was-dining-room converted office, eat-in kitchen. It has three bathrooms. It has a woodburning fire place. The master bedroom is ginormous, and I'm not kidding. It's split level with a biiiig sitting area, a built in vanity, two closets, a balcony off of it, and a full bath. Never mind the fact that the balcony is referred to as the 'death deck' and the shower in the master bath has never even been opened by me.. and the sink is only used to clean paint brushes....and it's avacado green haha. But you can see, there was some potential.
It's wrap around brick on the bottom, and it used to have rotting wood (yes, really) on the top... however, we re-sided it prior to moving in. We ripped out all of the shag carpet and replaced it with a nice tan frieze (sp?). We've painted (and already re-painted!) every inch of this place. And we also began the daunting task of painting all of the stained wood trim to white. I've spent several days this week taping and priming trim, chair rail, etc. and am almost finished. My goal is to be completely done with ALL painting downstairs by Tuesday night. Anyway, we laid ceramic tile in the kitchen, replaced the countertops, sinks, etc. We peel-n-stick tiled the downstairs half-bath, and just this weekend, the upstairs main bath. We also installed a pedastal sink downstairs, along with new light fixture and mirror. Oh yeah, we've replaced all light fixtures every where in the house, and have doorknobs and light switches that have yet to be installed. A few weeks ago, we replaced all of the windows. And friends, we are darn near being finished with the big, main things!
Phew.
I'm tired just thinking about it all. :)
So later this week, when things ARE done down here, I WILL post pictures. But... don't hold your breath, okay?? I do have a 16 month old with a double ear infection, I am nearly 8 months pregnant (!!), my little brother is starting chemo on Monday, family is coming in Tuesday night, and we will be gone Wednesday through Sunday... so there's lots of 'life' happening this week. But feel free to leave me a comment, cheering me on. :) I'd just LOVE to be able to check some things off of my working 'to do' list.

Corban had his 15 month check-up today, just a week shy of 16 months old.
He's still a pipsqueak, weighing in at 22 lbs 6 oz. and just below the 25th percentile, and 31 inches long, putting him right at 50th percentile.
The poor boy has another double ear infection. I've lost count- I don't know what number this is. I suspected it early this week, and unfortunately, I was right. He's acting great though, just a little sleepy and snotty.

My house is really really messy. Everywhere. I've got the couch pulled out in the fireplace room, because I was priming the trim and chair rail. I have
everything off of my kitchen coutertops and on my kitchen table, as I was painting that half of the kitchen. Let me tell you about that. See, a couple months ago, I painted all of it red. And it was-whoa-red. Overwhleming, to say the least. SO I decided that I would paint the half by the cabinets and countertops to tone things down. I bought a very nice shade of beige-ish gray and applied two coats while Corban napped on Wednesday morning. And when Corban napped on Wednesday afternoon, I painted it again, except this time tan. Haha. So this week, I've applied two coats of primer and four coats of paint in the kitchen. Talk about wasted time! Anyway, I haven't put the kitchen back together yet, because I have to paint the trim around the windows and the cabinets above the fridge still.. but I need to finish priming the chairrail in the other room so I can do all the white paint at once. Brother! It would be much easier if Corban slept all day (haha), but he's trying to get down to just one nap, making my schedule have much less free time. Well, maybe not freetime, but less Corban-free time. And if he's awake, there's not a chance I can paint anything within his reach. Which is everything below the kitchen countertops....
Moving on now.
Anyone want to come clean and paint my house for me? I make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies...haha Okay, seriously done with that now.
My in-laws are coming up tonight, and my father-in-law and husband are going to finish our upstairs bathroom!!!!! I will post pictures once it's finished- before and after pictures. It was not pretty, to say the least. Peach walls, train border, red-white-blue shag carpet. Yuck. But no longer!
And guess what we have planned for tomorrow??


NOTHING!!!!!!!

It is a rare, rare occurance for our schedule to be completely free on a Saturday. Oh man, am I excited. A whole day at home with my boys! :)
And Sunday is the kick-off for our Holiday festivities, starting after church with the Taylor cousins family Thanksgiving, and then the church Thanksgiving dinner that evening. And then Brandon and Holly come on Tuesday night, and Wednesday Jordan only has to work half day, and he's off until the following Monday!!! AND- I get to decorate for Christmas. I loooove this time of year!
But anyway, my son just shut himself in the hallway bathroom, so I'm off to rescue him. Happy Weekend!

oncologist appointment

We went today for JD's appointment with the oncologist to discuss his treatment plan. I think overall, we're all breathing a little easier. I accidently left my notebook with the notes from the appointment and the treatment plan and pathology report in Mom's car, so you just get the basics. :) Go to www.caringbridge.org/visit/jdtaylor2 for the details.

Anyway- contrary to what we were initially told, chemo will NOT be 5 days in a row, every 2 to 3 weeks. Instead, it will be ONE day every two weeks. The treatment will last about 5 hours, as they will be giving him two different chemo drugs, anti-nausea medicine and ... fluids? i think. They plan on doing this for 4-6 months, and at the end of that time period, will re-evaluate.

The medicines he will be being given are very strong and typically used to treat a very agressive form of brain cancer... HOWEVER- the side effects don't seem to be as severe as some chemotherapys' are. We just don't know exactly how he'll respond to it (but who will be surprised if he breezes through it? Certainly not me!), but it sounded like it could be 2-3 bad days (meaning nausea, vomiting, diarrhea) for every treatment, which again is once every two weeks. They will do an MRI in one month, which will have been 6 weeks out from his surgery and after 2 doses of the chemo.

The chemo, like I said, is usually used on a very aggressive type of cancer. JD's tumor is very rare, and the cases of it reoccurring like JD's has done, even more so. It DID end up still being PXA, but with anaplasia... which means it has malignant tendancies. While the cells were initially dividing at a 4% rate, they now divide at a 30% rate. Simply put- what used to take 6 months to grow, now grows in 1.2 months. Thus the reason for the quick surgery and quick start on chemotherapy. In using the medicines that they have chosen for chemotherapy, they are treating JD very aggressively and proactively, which we are so thankful for!

We have several things playing on our side. One, there is currently no tumor in JD's brain... just cells. This is much easier to treat than a large mass. Two, JD has never had chemotherapy before, and is over 2.5 years out from radiation. The doctor said something about the tumor cells 'getting smart' and morphing with the chemo or something like that. His 'cells' haven't been exposed to chemo yet. And we're hitting them early with the hard stuff. Three, JD is young and in very good health. And lastly, we serve a big God, and we have lots and lots of people fighting on JD's behalf.

Again, our family thanks you for all your support. If I could express how the love extended has helped lighten the load, I would. But just know, your kind words, prayers, meals, bracelet-wearing, etc. is very deep reaching. You've helped us walk through a very difficult thing and we are so, so grateful. But please- KEEP PRAYING!! :)

warning: emotions running rampant ahead.

I feel so overwhelmed.

I'm having a baby in approximately 7 weeks or less, and it's the furthest thing from my mind. She doesn't have a name, even. And I haven't even been looking. She has some clothes, but I haven't washed the car seat or organized her stuff or bough her any diapers- nothing.
I feel like the rest of life needs to be put on pause, and we can resume when this nightmare is over.

JD will be starting chemo on Monday. They will be doing a very intense dose for his first round, as they feel this will bring the best results. Usually radiation is accompanied when treating this type of tumor, but we've maxed out radiation on that part of the brain as it is, at least that's the impression that has been given. There is no normal protocol, as the type of tumor he has is extremely rare- the doctors keep emphasizing that. We could get second opinions, but that will just delay treatment starting. But we trust Dr. Young, and are confident that he would treat JD no different than he would treat his own son.

So we wait. Wait and rest. Wait and pray. Wait and cry. Wait and hope.

In my quiet time this morning, I stumbled upon (not coincidentally) verses that were very important to me my freshman year of college... another story for another day... but I hadn't read them in years, and had never read them in NKJV, which I now prefer. I think I'm going to pass them along to my mom and brother as well:
Psalm 18:29-32
For by You I can run against a troop,
By my God I can leap over a wall.
As for God, His way is perfect,
the Word of the Lord is proven,
He is a shield to all who trust Him.
For who is God, except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer...

If you haven't noticed, my emotions are all over the place. Put life circumstances on top of almost 8 months pregnant, and you have a mess.

Off to paint...

I think I was holding my breath for that miracle... hoping and praying that the pathology would come back saying it was all necrosis, all dead tissue. Unfortunately, and quite upsettingly, this was not the case.
Mom talked to JD's neurosurgeon on the phone- so I didn't hear all of the details or anything, but got the basic rundown of what information there is right now.
We still don't have the complete official pathology report, but the place in Pittsburg has its entire staff working on picking apart and trying to pinpoint exactly what JD's tumor is. Previously, the tumor has been a PXA, but the pathology has shown that is no longer looking or acting like that kind of tumor. It is acting more aggressively. It seems to be acting like another type of tumor, but doesn't have all of the characteristics of that certain kind. Dr. Young said it is more important for them to accurately identify than to have a quick answer... so we will continue to wait.
My family will go Friday to meet with Dr. Libros, the doctor who oversaw JD's radiation, to discuss whether or not more radiation will be possible as treatment. And, I'm assuming once we have the official pathology, JD will start chemotherapy.
Obviously, this was not the news we were hoping for. I guess it's not unexpected, with what we were told prior to surgery, but the reality of what we're getting ready to face is sinking in. Please be praying for JD, for our family, for the doctors, the people working on the pathology report...


I was sure by now, God, you would have reached down,
wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again I say 'amen' and it's still raining.
As the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain
"I am with you,"
And as Your mercy falls, I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...
And I will praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
Every tear I've cried, You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn...
I will praise You in this storm.

I'm slightly less delirious than my last post, as it's only 9:50 instead of midnight, but I am oh-so-close to bedtime right now. I just spent a good 30 minutes changing my layout and making a new header here, but I will be changing shortly after Thanksgiving again- as I am a Christmas fanatic, and am really excited about the thought of a Holiday layout. Call me a nerd, but it's true. Speaking of which.. have you realized that Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away? Mmm... did 2008 even happen? This year has flown! Whether it seems possible or not, it's true, and man am I excited. I LOVE this time of year. Mostly the time from the week before Thanksgiving until January 2nd. So much fun packed in between. But... so much to get done with the arrival of a new baby coming very shortly after January 2nd this year. I made a 'To Do' list a couple of weeks ago in my everything-journal (you know, like a pen-and-paper one? Some people, like me, still use those too). Anyway, I felt incredible when I stumbled upon it on Wednesday and was able to cross off nearly all of it. I think I put a line through each item, then kind of made swirlies over the line, and then colored so thick you could barely read what was underneath. Haha. It's always good to realize that progress has been made though, so I enjoyed patting myself on the back for a couple of minutes.
But then realization hit like a ton of bricks, and I had to make a new list of all the things that STILL have to be done that were contingent upon the completion of the first list. Oh brother! And then, we were at a house this weekend with lots of fun paint colors and nice trim and cool do-it-yourself decorations that totally gave the house a completed, decorated look.... and my list has tripled in my mind. So- since my real journal is tucked away in my husbands timbuktu bag at church, and this pregnant brain feels more than slightly overwhelmed at all the things that would be really wonderful if completed in the eight weeks, you get to view my
work-in-progress, to-be-completed-prior-to- 1/16/09 list:

• finish putting away laundry. (I'm pretty sure this is on every list I have ever written).*
• finish taping off trim downstairs*
• buy primer and more white paint, paint trim*
• buy paint for Baby Girl's bedroom
• buy paint for Corban's big boy room
• paint kiddos bedrooms
• finish started decorations for BG's room*
• empty Corban's closet
• get flooring stuff for bathroom*
• price carpet, laminate, other options for Corban's 'new' room (It is the only room that didn't have shag carpet, carpet appeared to be in good shape, so we didn't replace it... but after moving in we've realized that it smells like cat urine).
• continue hunt for a dresser to revamp and make shabby chic for BG's room (and find one and do it)
• take stack of 'stuff' from Corban's new room to Goodwill
• Talk Jordan into doing: floor in bathroom, light fixture in bathroom, faucet in bathroom, trim in kitchen and bathroom, crown moulding in kitchen..... and so on and so forth.

See, that's not so much, right?! Ha ha ha... hahaha. The * are things that I want to do this week. Ideally, I'd like to (really) have all of this done by Christmas, as I'm full term the day after. And I didn't even mention the re-organizing my cabinets or cleaning out my fridge that I've started to have an itch to do... or the can of 'blonde' colored paint I plan on purchasing to repaint my just painted hallways, since I hate the nearly-peach color they ended up being. Or the idea for the picture frame collage I have brewing in my head, to replace the decorations currently above the couch. Or the 'stick' curtain rods I need to hunt out of the woods for Corban's camping/outdoor/lodge themed room he will soon be moving to. And really, the things that will probably get done first are the things in this paragraph, not the bullets, because these are the things that I want to do and see done. Except for the trim. And of course, everything on Jordan's list. :)

Anyway, I'm off to finish taping the trim down here. I did start that this evening... it's such a tedious thing to do! and I want to get it all done tonight. And as I first mentioned, it's dangerously close to bedtime, so I'm outta here!

It's late... like, really late for this 31 week pregnant, hungry, and tired woman. I mean, it's just minutes away from midnight. That's like 4 a.m. for a normal person, in case you were wondering. Maybe even later, if you take into account that my 15 month old son was up from 1:30-4a.m. last night. Regardless, I'm tired.
But I'm sitting here, waiting on Jordan to get to my parents house. I ended up chickening out (or using my brain, I'm still undecided) and not attending the North game. They lost though, which is a bummer. It was good to just hang out here though. My grandparents are in from Mississippi, and I don't get to see near enough of them. So extra time was enjoyed.
I'm slightly releaved that football season is over. I have loved watching the games, watching Isaac dominate, but we have literally been to Cville every weekend since September. I am ready for a Saturday morning in my bed, with my husband, and without my son in the same room. Reference the first paragraph if you're wondering why. Corban just DOES NOT sleep well if we're in the room with him. It's always a battle... every single weekend. Thus the reason I am ready for one at home. Notice I said O N E. Because the following weekend will be Thanksgiving, and back in town we will be.
Anyway, I'm really really really looking forward to tomorrow. We're hanging out with our friends Shane and Alyssa, whom we see way too little of because both of our crazy schedules. They have been instrumental in our lives in so many areas. They started out as our youth leaders in high school, turned into mentors, and are now friends. It's one of those relationships that I value so much, and I treasure any time spent with them. The boys are going to the Bell Game at Wabash, and us ladies are staying home in the warm house with the kiddos. I can't wait!
JD continues to do incredibly. We've play about 1209754397 games of Scrabble the last few days, and he's given me a run for my money, and even beaten me some. And no, I didn't let him, though I wish I could say I did- haha. Quite honestly, you would never ever know that anything has ever been wrong, let alone that he had BRAIN surgery a week and two days ago. The recovery time this time has been non-existant. He came out of surgery completely himself. Well, nearly, anyway. I'm floored and amazed.
And now, I'm rambling. So I'm going to go park my rear on the couch and hope that Jordan makes an appearance soon, as I'm way past ready to sleep. Goodnight!

a few thoughts...

My heart is heavy and I'm frustrated with myself. I'm learning, well, seeing things about 'me' that aren't too glamorous, and I mean so much more than this gigantic stomach or messy hair. I'll come right out and say it--- I am a people pleaser. I hate to hurt feelings, to disappoint, to give anyone less than a cheerful smile and exactly what they're asking for (unless it's my husband, unfortunately... haha). If you've hurt my feelings, you'll probably never know. If I'm upset with you, I'll get over it, and you'll never know anything was wrong. If I notice a wrong in your life, chances are... it'll remain unaddressed, at least by me. I don't do confrontation. Let's eat, drink, and be merry. Big smiles all around. Everything is hunky dory. Life is good, right?
While a little optimism and kindness certainly aren't character flaws, this let's-keep-everything-surface-so-no-one-gets-hurt bologna is.. bologna. I've recently seen how my desire to be on good terms with everyone and never hurt feelings has resulted in- you guessed it- hurt feelings! Because, selfishly, it was easier for me to leave a situation unaddressed than to stomach a few uncomfortable moments and say 'I don't care, I love you anyway,' I've caused hurt and bitterness in a big way. I hate that. Why wasn't I obedient to the Lord? Why did I refuse to make a phone call, or make a little effort? Ugh. All they needed was a little 'This doesn't change Jesus' love for you, so it doesn't change mine..' and I sat in silence. Do you know why? Because I would've had to address the part about them being wrong, about their choices being contrary to what the Bible teaches is right. And this wasn't some stranger. It wouldn't have been uncalled for for me to speak to them in that way. We have, or at least had, a good relationship, one that could be open like that. And I blew it. I contributed to their lack of faith in the body of Christ. I misrepresented Jesus to them by my silence. I played a part in their withdrawal from church as a whole. You have no idea how this grieves me... how my heart breaks.

So what now? Where does one go with this knowledge, this revelation? I'm certainly not patting myself on the back when I say this, but I found all of this out by finally doing what the Lord would've had me do months ago. I went (okay, through the internet) to this person and apologized, asked for forgiveness for my lack of effort, explained that my lack of communication was not a lack of care. And I addressed 'the issue'. They then told me of the bitterness and hurt that it had caused, and I deserved that. They also gave me more than I deserved with explanations and second chances. I'm thankful for re-opened doors, and I'm so praying that I don't drop the ball again. Obedience, obedience, obedience. I wouldn't be here now had I done what I was supposed to when I was supposed to do it. Who knows how things could be? No good will come from entertaining these what ifs, though, so I'll leave it right there.

With my husband being in full-time ministry, and me choosing to partner up and walk alongside him in that... this most certainly was not the first, and will not be the last time a situation like this occurs. It is so hard for me to point things out to the kids, to say that that's not right. But by not doing so, I'm doing them a disservice. Please don't misunderstand me- my job is not to play Holy Spirit or to police their every move, but when I see things that aren't glorifying to the Lord or reflecting Jesus' love, we do have a responsibility to say something. But not just because Jordan's their youth pastor, but because that's what we're supposed to do as the body of Christ. And I want the same done for me.

Anyway, this is just another one of those bumps in the road, slowing me down, causing me to open my eyes, really look around and ask the Lord to do a new work in my heart. I want to be faithful next time, obedient. I want to represent the love that God has for us... even when it's hard. I want to think less of myself and what is easy and more of what God would have me do, even when it's so contrary to my nature. I want to be victorious in this area of my heart.

Now that I've aired my dirty laundry (haha), I'm off to fold some that is clean!

Sometimes:

Sometimes we play in the wagon, and Corban holds the stick....

And sometimes, he likes to wear Daddy's gloves...

Sometime Corban likes to wear nasty mullet wigs....

And sometimes, he likes to wear his lunch on his face!

Sometimes we have bonfires....

And sometimes, we need patio furniture when we have bonfires!

And very rarely, I get a burst of inspiration and decide to make the wall hangings for our baby girl's nursery. (this is an unfinished product, btw. I have to go get more brads for the daisies, and I think I'm going to put another ribbon through that thick one across the top.. I don't like it is much as I thought I would before I stuck it down.)

It will be three separate 12x12 wall hangings, but I haven't mounted them yet, so they're just laying there.

And sometimes...... I sit at the computer and eat nutella by the spoonful because I'm so mad about pictures and blogger. haha. And during those sometimes, my husband asks if I am eating nutella and I laugh as I say 'no way!' ... and then he asks if I'm writing about how much I love him.

Sometimes... very often... my back hurts when sitting at this chair, which I've done so for way too long trying to figure out the easiest way to work pictures on this site. So- I'm done!! nonsense.

JD is going home today!!

a m a z e d

Chalk one up for the Lord.
Brain surgery #5 is apparently a cake walk for JD Taylor.
Who cares that this was the most invasive one yet... or, you know, that he just had one 3 months ago to the day? No skin off his back!
JD is up and at it this morning. He called our Aunt Lisa and sang Happy Birthday to her at 6a.m. He's talking, talking, talking without a problem. He ate some oatmeal. He asked for a wheelchair so he can go roam the halls.
Brain surgery, what?!
They did an MRI this morning and it looked great... perfectly clear, no swelling.
Can I please get a "Praise the Lord"? Or a "God is good... all the time!"?
I am simply amazed. JD will be moved from ICU sometime this morning to a regular room, where it doesn't appear he will be staying for too long.
Oh man. This is just awesome! God is SO good!

surgery update

After 12 hours at the hospital and three at church, I am completely exhausted. I also haven't really seen my husband since last week, like Thursday, so I'm going to make this short.
Things could not have gone any better than they did today. We have so, so, so much to be praising the Lord for. Without going into details right now, things definitely aren't seeming as bad as they did a week ago. The doctor said the tumor did not look like the high-grade aggressive tumor he was anticipating, but we're waiting on pathology to confirm. It was most definitely a good report.
And, JD is recovering incredibly. I think he seems to be doing better than his last surgery, as far as talking, his color, etc... and this one was even more invasive.
What a big God we serve, huh? My heart is overflowing with praise!!!
Check www.caringbridge.org/visit/jdtaylor2 for more updates, and probably more details.
I'm out for now!

surgery in progress..

Just wanted to post a quick note and let you know that JD is now in surgery.
Things were a little different than 'normal' this morning- whatever no
rmal for brain surgery is. Usually we are able to be back waiting with JD for a while before they take him back. This morning, we were only in there long enough to pray with him, and then they took him up for a stealth MRI. When they took him, they said he'd be gone for 15-30 minutes, and then return to the room before going into surgery. They, unfortunately, changed their minds though... I was frustrated with this because I didn't get to hug him and tell him I loved him because I thought I was going to see him before he went into surgery. But anyway.
They came out shortly after 8 and told us they were taking him into surgery then. They will first be putting in the port, basically an internal iv surgically implanted in his chest. This will be used for chemo, blood work, etc. instead of having to stick him in the arm everytime.
Mom will be updating on his caringbridge site periodically throughout the day. Please, feel free to leave comments here or on that site- JD really enjoys reading through them, and it's such an encouragement for the whole family.
Please continue praying!! Surgery is expected to last 3-4 hours. I'll update once it's done.Thank you, and God bless!!!

www.caringbridge.org/visit/jdtaylor2

Real Quick..

We found out yesterday that JD's MRI of his spine came back CLEAR!! Praise the Lord!
Surgery is going to be on Wednesday, but we don't know what time yet.
That's really all the new news we have right now.

In other news...
We have a houseful of new windows!! With screens! Whoa, what an improvement. Our house, which was built in 1974, had the original single-pane wood windows, with an occassional screen. I typically referred to them as non-windows, as they were really terrible at doing their jobs. For example, last winter we had the celophane wrap stuff covering them, all nice and tight and secure. The wind gusts which our windows did nothing to slow blew the plastic right off. Oh man, was it a cold winter. But no longer! :) And for that, I am glad.

I did a lot of laying around today, while the boys slaved away. Quite honestly, I'm worn out. Aside from the emotional drain that the week brought, we also had a houseful of company (which we enjoyed very much), but I'm just tired. Being nearly 30 weeks pregnant might have something to do with it... but I've enjoyed my spot on the couch with a book in hand.
And while my son is still napping, I'm going to return to my spot and finish my book. Happy Weekend!

first pediatric oncologist appointment for JD

Sigh... what a day. My heart is heavy and my mind racing, but what do you expect in a situation like this? Anyway, here's the run down of the appointment:
We met the pediatric oncologist, Dr. Goodman, who is 10 days away from having a baby. Irrelevant, except that we'll be seeing her partners for a period of time, and planning with them as well, for the most part. She will be consulted, from what I understand, but not present. Without replaying every bit of the 2.5 hour appointment, I'll give you the basics.
- JD will be having an MRI of his spinal cord tomorrow to make sure that it has not spread. We will have the results of the MRI by the end of the day tomorrow.
- The next step will be surgery #5 to remove the tumor. After Tuesday's (10/28) appointment, we thought surgery was not an option... It is no longer an option as a 'simple' fix-all, but will make further treatment much easier. It's easier to treat nothing/minuscule amounts than an eyeball sized tumor. And it gives us more time.
- From there... we wait on the pathology of the tumor. This will ultimately determine the plan of action. They said it would most likely be 3-4 weeks following surgery before they started chemo (assuming that's the course of action taken) to give JD time to recover.
Really, it's hard to give any definite information, as we have none and will not have any until we have the pathology of the tumor. Like I said, we'll know the results of the spinal MRI tomorrow (BE PRAYING THAT IT'S CLEAR!!!!), and hopefully we'll have surgery scheduled as well.

A few things of note, and forgive me if I'm using incorrect terms or my wording is wrong... after all, I was only an aspiring nurse before I, ahem, became a stay-at-home mom. :)
The type of tumor that JD had/has is called a pleomorphic xanthoastrocytoma, PXA for short. This typically is a slow-growing, low grade (benign) tumor. I don't fully understand how it all works or what it means, and I don't want to look at anymore tumor-related information tonight... but the pathology of his earlier resections showed 6-8% dividing... making it a low-grade, slow growing tumor, like expected for the type. This last resection (10 weeks ago) showed 20-30% dividing- a significant increase. The dividing has something to do with the tumor cells (duh), but I don't know if it deals with how many or how quickly or both or what. Sorry. Long story short- it is no longer acting like a low-grade, slow growing tumor. It is growing quickly and aggressively, acting malignantly, and so we must treat it as such. Thus the reason for quick surgery, followed up with chemo and potentially more radiation. We just don't know details of that part yet.

Please, please, please... just keep praying. We've got a long, rough road ahead of us. I wasn't prepared for the emotions I'd feel reading a little kids handwritten 'Cancer stinks!' scrawled on a bulletin board in the cancer center where our consultation was, or what I'd feel seeing a poster for the ImTooYoungForThis.org website. It all seems surreal, like it's someone else, something else... not my little brother. But then, I realize, this is real... and it is hard. Pray for wisdom for the doctors and my parents as they make decisions regarding the care he will recieve, for strength for us all, peace, comfort... And thank you, again, from the bottom of my (and my family's) heart. Your love, kindness, and prayers do far more than you could ever realize.