warning: emotions running rampant ahead.

I feel so overwhelmed.

I'm having a baby in approximately 7 weeks or less, and it's the furthest thing from my mind. She doesn't have a name, even. And I haven't even been looking. She has some clothes, but I haven't washed the car seat or organized her stuff or bough her any diapers- nothing.
I feel like the rest of life needs to be put on pause, and we can resume when this nightmare is over.

JD will be starting chemo on Monday. They will be doing a very intense dose for his first round, as they feel this will bring the best results. Usually radiation is accompanied when treating this type of tumor, but we've maxed out radiation on that part of the brain as it is, at least that's the impression that has been given. There is no normal protocol, as the type of tumor he has is extremely rare- the doctors keep emphasizing that. We could get second opinions, but that will just delay treatment starting. But we trust Dr. Young, and are confident that he would treat JD no different than he would treat his own son.

So we wait. Wait and rest. Wait and pray. Wait and cry. Wait and hope.

In my quiet time this morning, I stumbled upon (not coincidentally) verses that were very important to me my freshman year of college... another story for another day... but I hadn't read them in years, and had never read them in NKJV, which I now prefer. I think I'm going to pass them along to my mom and brother as well:
Psalm 18:29-32
For by You I can run against a troop,
By my God I can leap over a wall.
As for God, His way is perfect,
the Word of the Lord is proven,
He is a shield to all who trust Him.
For who is God, except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer...

If you haven't noticed, my emotions are all over the place. Put life circumstances on top of almost 8 months pregnant, and you have a mess.

Off to paint...