I don't expect you to know what to say, because I don't know what to say.
This really and truly has been the hardest week of my life.
All of the prepping in the world can't prepare you for days that we've had.
I am sad. I'm angry. I'm heartbroken. I'm frustrated. Confused. Hurting...so hurting.
But I'm holding onto Hope. Rest assured, God's got me firmly in His grip, and I am kept.
Just a recap:
Monday, JD experienced the worst pain he'd had in his spine, as he tried to lay on the bed that night.
Tuesday, Mom called his oncologist and she scheduled a spinal MRI for the next morning. But also told us that she really really believed that he was relapsing...
Wednesday, MRI first thing in the morning. Dr. Goodman didn't have to say a word for us to know the results. She was wearing it in her eyes, on her shoulders. But she did say a word, lots of them, and our hearts broke then and there. The cancer has spread down his spinal cord. There's tumor near his tailbone, 'highlighting' in another spot.
I can barely stand to type those words.
Thursday, we took Cate to her cardiologist appointment to see if there was something that could be causing her lack of growth. The dr asked why were there, and I gave him the three reasons- her not growing, having a murmur, and my heart history. After explaining the conditions I have, he flipped over her EKG and said nonchalantly, "She has Long QT Syndrome, too." What!? I'm not sure it's really even registered in my brain yet. That, or I'm just numb. Some genetic testing is in the works, to determine which gene the mutation is on, so we can determine the best course of treatment. And in the mean time, and probably for the rest of her life, she's taking a beta blocker 3x/day, every 8 hours.
I have Long QT Syndrome- I was born with it as well, but was asymptomatic until I was a teenager. I ended up having to have a defibrillator implanted when I was 19 because of the severity of my condition. I can't stomach researching right now, can't look at what it may mean for her, as far as activities go. I just can't go there right now... Believe me, I am MORE than aware that there are much, much, much worse things, but this was something I had prayed and prayed that my children wouldn't have.
So now, it's Friday.
A new day?