Sunday, January 25, 2009

I could...

sit and stare at this all day long.
Oh wait- I do!

I love being a Mama. Just thought I'd share that.
Oh Sunday... already. We've been home from the hospital for one week. I've been the mother of two for 9 days. I've had my husband by my side and at home for ten strait days. And tomorrow, real life starts.
I really feel ready.
This week was absolutely wonderful. It consisted of lots of pajamas and naps on couches with baby Cate. Lots of snuggling and little cleaning. Lots of playing and lots of sleeping. Lots of pictures and lots of learning. (Interrupt this train of thought to announce that my 18 month old just brought a diaper to Jordan, asking him to change him, and he was only wet!) It was a much needed break for us all. We needed the time together, needed the time to relax, needed the time to learn our new baby. I think it's safe to say that we all feel very refreshed. And honestly, I feel prepared, ready.
While it was wonderful to sit in my pajamas day in and day out, to nap for hours every day, to leisurely do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I'm ready for life to resume. I'm feeling a little bit like a slug, my messy house is driving me bonkers, and I feel like life has just been paused, and I'm ready to push play. Do I think tomorrow will be a piece of cake, managing 2 under 18months all by myself all day long? Not a chance. Corban likes to test boundaries and sometimes (okay, often) likes to do whatever it is I'm asking him not to. Cate nurses every 2 hours during the day, which ties me up and limits what I can do with Corban. When will I get to take a shower? What about unloading the dishwasher? Little things like that... It's going to take time to adjust, I know, but I'm ready for it.
If there was ever anything I was made to do, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was this. It has been my hearts desire for as long as I can remember to the very thing I'm doing. The satisfaction and joy that being a mother brings to me... indescribable. I've been spending some time thinking on Psalm 139. The verses are often associated with new life, such as Cate's, but the Lord has been speaking to my heart regarding me. Not only did He form my children, fearfully and wonderfully make them, have their days written before one of them came to be... He did the same for me. He gave me the same care as he did my precious Corban and Cate. No less love and effort went into me. "How precious are Your thoughts to me, Oh God! How vast the sum of them? If I could count them, they'd outnumber the sand." Just thinking about the depth of the love I have for my children- it truly is beyond what I can put in words- and realizing, that even more so, God loves them, loves us, loves me. The intensity and depth of the love that I have for Corban and Cate only scratches the surfaces of the Lord's love for me. His thoughts towards me are precious, more numerous than the sand, He fearfully and wonderfully made me, He had my days planned before even one of them came to be. If that's not something to find self-worth in, than I don't know what is. And to think, He designed me with the desire and capability to bear children, and then so immensly blessed me with two of them, allowing me to stay home and watch them grow, teach them, love them. He gave me the desires, and then gave me the desires of my heart.
I have so much to be thankful for. I am so blessed.


  1. Kristen,

    Baby Cate is SO beautiful! And well, Corban has always been a cutie! :) Can't believe you're a mama of two to be honest, but I love how you've found your life's greatest joy in it. That's such a good place to be...And thanks for your reminder of God's perfect love for us. Sometimes it's just good to hear again. Praying for you and missing you, girl. If I come to Indy anytime soon, I'd love to pop in and see your amazing family! Love you!


  2. :-) this is a lovely feel good post.excuse me while I go hug my girls.

  3. Kristen...I just wanted to tell you all Congratulations and you have a beautiful addition to your family! Your posts are always amazing....inspiration! Take care and enjoy your kiddos


  4. I agree with Grace! Hugs for everyone, even the 2 here that are not mine! This was beautiful, Cate and Corban are beautiful and so are you! Thanks for sharing!


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