For some reason, and I definitely believe it was a gentle reminder from the Lord, I had a quote from long ago, another season of waiting, pop into my head this morning on my way to church, and I can't shake it. Nor can I find it's exact wording, or the journal I wrote it in, or the book it was from, but the gist of it, I believe, is forever written on my heart - as it's been 5 years since I read it last. It's funny how that happens sometimes, huh? It's nothing too profound, but it was impacting when I read it five years ago, and every bit as much so right now.
Simply:
"The most precious things in life often come at the expense of a waiting period."
Waiting is so hard. Almost always. Waiting for lunch. Waiting for results from a doctor. Waiting on the weekend. Counting down the days until your wedding. Waiting to be reunited with a loved one. Waiting for the birth of a baby. It's never easy to sit in anticipation, knowing something so desired is just around the corner, but oh- how sweet it is when it arrives.
There's another quote that I've always connected mentally with this waiting period one, mostly because they were big in my life at the same time. I think this one is from Jim Elliot, and I read it in "Passion and Purity."
"Let not our longing slay our appetite for living."
Once again, the two go hand in hand for me. I know that the wait will be so worth it. I know that I will be immensly upset with myself if I do break down and go for the induction simply because I cannot wait. But I also know that I will terribly upset with myself looking back on this time and how I've handled this season of waiting- that is, if things don't change, if I don't heed this gentle reminder. Oh, how I cannot wait to kiss my sweet baby girl, to look her over from head to toe, to show her to Corban, to kiss my husband as we marvel at our precious child... but I've been 'waiting' so impatiently, wallowing in self-pity, and making those around me just as miserable that I'm missing so much here in the in-between time. I'm letting my longing take over and rule!
No more. Enough is enough. Today, I will wrestle my son and snuggle my husband, not time contractions and be furious when they spread out. I will pray for my daughter and her arrival, but I will not let the rest of my life hinge on whether or not she's here by 8:30 tonight or not. I'm going to keep living in the mean time, alright?
She will come. I will not be pregnant for ever. And oh, how precious that day will be...
Until then, I'm living. Good day!
Praise the Lord for His gentle reminders and ever-presence.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this. I needed the reminder very badly too! There are so many things I'm anticipating that are coming up this year. It IS SOOO hard to wait. Keep up the good attitude. I know it is hard. Good luck with everything. I bet on everything that the moment you stop "worrying" about it, she'll come!
ReplyDeleteawesome attitude!!! What a Phil 4:11 way to be!
ReplyDeleteNow there's a good way to look at things. I felt the exact same way when I was more than a week overdue w/Elijah. Toby told me at church "there is a day appointed by God...". That put it into perspective for me. God is the only one who knows and numbers our days. He is in control of when our children are born. How comforting that is. :)
ReplyDeleteSo, be encouraged that He will bring her on the day He foreknew from before the foundations of the earth.
And just in case you want to know you're not alone, check out what I had to say when I was in your boat...
http://babygutierrez.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html
(I don't know if the link will work, but you can always type in the address.)
I think he's about 31 1/2 inches. For his 15 month check-up he was 31 1/4. He's pretty short for his age, I think 30th percentile or something like that.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. It will be any day now!