Monday, January 5, 2009

bah humbug.

You want to know how I'm feeling? This is the text message I sent Jordan after my appointment today:
'there was no change. I hate everything. love you.'
Haha. It's just so unbelievably frustrating. I know that my due date is a week and a half away, I'm well aware. But why, oh why, the non-stop contractions? Why can't I just have little braxton hicks here and there? Why do I have to have cramping and pressure, and contractions that get into nice little 4 minute apart rhythms? Hmmm? Can you answer me that? No? Well, then... don't be offended when I'm grumpy. :)
I hate how the end of pregnancy makes me. It's so hard to just ignore it and wait patiently. I promised myself at the beginning of this pregnancy that I wouldn't wish it away, that I would enjoy being pregnant, savor my time with Corban, etc. I am failing miserably at that. I don't want to be a crazy, emotionally unstable lunatic. I really don't. But my body is making sanity very hard for me. And then the dumb doctor telling me that I'm no further along at all than I was a week ago...after 7 days of all-day contractions. Well. I just think things stink.
On top of that nonsense, my son is sick. He woke up last night with an under-the-arm temperature of 102.5!! He was beat red, and felt like he was on fire. Motrin brought it down enough for him to sleep comfortably from 12-8, but it was back up to 101.3 this morning. After a few hours of motrin in his system, he's still at 99.4. He's a little fussy and won't eat, but other than that is acting pretty normal. I knew something was up yesterday when he took a 4 hour nap though. (Oh, but was I thankful for that... I slept for 3 of those 4 hours!)
Good news about the baby's delay- we've gotten a lot done around the house. Jordan and his Dad did the wood floor in Corban's room, and then my parents came up on Saturday and painted it. Holly (my sis-in-law) painted the trim in the bathroom for me, and the boys worked hard in the garage for Jordan to get his rock wall going. (yes, we now [almost] have a rock wall in our garage!) We've taken a whole van load of trash to the dump, half a van to goodwill, and have another load to dump as well. We're not really trash balls, we just had 15 windows, old trim, and a room of carpet to get rid of, on top of a years worth of clutter. I'm not proud to admit that I got rid of 3 garbage bags full of clothes, and still have a tote to get rid of. And a big closet and full dressers worth of things left to wear. Excess, much!? It feels so good to get all of this stuff out of the house though. I'm glad that we've gotten all of this stuff done. Tonight we plan on putting the furniture in Corban's new room, and then I'll be able to do the nursery! Exciting!
Anyway- Corban is fussing in his crib, not wanting to nap, but desperately needing to. He's mad at me for it too, as he keeps crying for 'Daddy'. He no longer says Dada. He's growing up. So yeah, I'm off to tend to him! Adios!


  1. You're totally allowed to feel frustrated! I would be. But just think, once she's here you'll look back and wonder what all the hurry was about. :) Hang in there, she'll be here too.

    And I have to tell you how funny you are with the comment you left me. You sounded just like a teacher grading a writing assignment. ha ha! :)

    Also, I hope Corban gets better really soon. Last thing you need is a sick little guy and LABOR! yikes!

  2. oops... I meant to say "she'll be here soon" not too.

  3. I'm sorry. It's tough. You described the last 3 pregnancies for me! I can't say I really learned how to handle it better as time went on, but I can clearly see how God was preparing me to be a better mama. And, it might be nice for you to take your own advice. Mayeb when the boy is feeling better, plan a special Mommy and Me day with just him and soak up all things Corban. Might get your mind off things for a bit and you will treasure a day like that when you look back on this time in your life.

    Oh, and PTL for 3 hour naps!!! Sorry to say those days are about to be gone for a looong time:)
    Praying for you!


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