candid

Things are still going really well. I've started 3 different posts, but have had to stop midway, and never went back to finish. Thus is life with multiple children, I suppose?
I haven't left my house since Monday. I guess I'm really bad at the stay-at-home part of my job description, but I'm about to bust the door down and walk somewhere. Okay, maybe not... but a trip to Target sure sounds heavenly. My husband so kindly asked me to stay in and promised me we could go to Greenfield or something tonight, just to get me out of the house. I thought it was really sweet of him to say that. Especially since I've been such a butt to him lately.
No really, I have been. I don't know why either. It's funny, because on Monday I laid in bed and prayed that God would change me, to teach me how to be a wife and mom, and show me what was keeping me from doing so in the way He intended me to. He's been very faithful to answer that prayer, but man, it's hard to face and own up to the ugliness in your heart, you know? Yesterday I was seeing the many different things I look to for satisfaction, where I place my hope, and how empty they are, how they don't matter... and how it just keeps me from the Lord and from living the way I should. When I'm hoping in a number on a scale or a phone call from a friend to bring me joy, I'm without a doubt going to be disappointed. And how small and selfish, you know? Ugh. But anyway, today the Lord has been showing how disagreeable I have been with Jordan. Like, if he likes or wants something, my reaction is defensive for some reason. And with things that don't matter to me or shouldn't bother me. Like I was just being difficult. I need to encourage him and support him. I should be his biggest cheerleader. I need to treat him like I love him (which I do! so much!), but my actions haven't been saying so. He is so good to me. I want to be his help-mate. I want to encourage him, to make an effort to like what he likes, to at least be willing to try. And I owe him a big apology. I should've said something this morning when he got in from shoveling the drive, but instead, I surprised him with a glass of hot chocolate and talked about snow or something equally unimportant. We don't have anything going on tonight, and as hard as it may be, I have to talk to him.
Moving on now...
For three nights in a row, my daughter has slept 6 hours straight, followed by another 3-4 hours. You have no idea how thankful for this I am. Or maybe you do. Either way, I'm blessed. And really really thankful. She's as content as could be when awake, too. Every bit as good as Corban was. :) I'm still holding my breath, waiting for that first rough night or bout of fussiness, but we'll see. Until then, I'll take my easy baby with gladness. :)
Corban is still doing really well with her. My days at home with just me and the kids how gone surprisingly well. I can't say it enough- I am really blessed.
Anyway, I need to tend to my son. He's done with his morning chill-out in his crib. He doesn't nap in the morning anymore, but still seems to need the down time, and asks to go 'nigh nigh'... so he spends about 30-45 minutes laying and talking in bed. Just enough time for me to grab a quick shower or do something like this. But he's talking loudly and saying "Mommy" so I know time is up. Off I go!