blah blah blah

Per the suggestion of my friend Jodi, instead of cleaning my house, I'm writing a blog. Okay, so maybe that wasn't exactly what she said, but the power of suggestion is powerful right now.
Or maybe, I just don't feel like cleaning.
Maybe I really feel like crying. And I don't feel like cleaning and crying at the same time. So writing wins. Ha. I'm complex today. Just ask my husband. Or don't. Either way.
I'm not on drugs. Or sleep deprived. Or caffeine deprived, even. I'm just... full of sighs. I don't know what mood you'd classify that as, though. Are you still with me? It's okay if not. This is me mostly procrastinating, and partially just how I feel. Hm.
We had a duo dr appointment today in which Corban had his 2 year well-baby check up, and Cate had her official 6 month. It wasn't well. Corban was perfect. A little smaller than I thought, but perfect. He's in the 30th percentile for height, and 50th for weight. They confirmed what I already knew about Cate- she's really small, but threw in a bunch of other hablah (yes, I just made that word up) as well. For starters, she's not really growing. At 4 months, she was 11lbs 14oz, and today, at 6.5 months, she was 12lbs 9oz. And in these two and a half months, we've added real food, two to three times a day. She's 25 1/4 inches, only 2 3/4inches bigger than when she was born almost 7 months ago. I haven't been too worried about things until now... now that the things I've been trying aren't working.
And now that I know she has a heart murmur. Something crazy like 80% of children are told they have a heart murmur, so it's not the hugest deal in the world. But I have two fairly serious heart conditions and one of my greatest fears in having children was them having them too. (I also have a heart murmur on top of the other conditions, but it's 'innocent', doesn't effect anything). The doctor said that with my history and her lack of growth, the heart murmur was enough of a concern to send us to the cardiologist. With some congenital heart defects, one of the 'signs' will be lack of growth.
I was really hoping I'd have more health concerns to worry about this month! Yes! NOT!!!!!!
So, on top of that, we also have to take her for a hip x-ray. I originally thought nothing of it, but I made the mistake of googling it and ended up in tears. One of her legs is shorter than the other, and the creases on the back of her legs are uneven. This can be indicitive of some hip dysplasia something or other. If it is that, it's really really a blessing that we found it now instead of later, but I'm really praying it's not... b/c she's be stuck in this terrible cast for two months, where she couldn't move at all. I know there's much, much, much worse things, much bigger deasl- believe me, we're living it with my brother- but still, that's my baby girl!! I can't imagine her going from crawling and sitting and moving all around, to being in this stinking cast that pinned her hips down and didn't allow any movement.
I know, I know... Do not worry about tomorrow...Cast your cares on Him, because He cares for you...Be anxious for nothing, but in everything prayer and supplication....
I know these things seem small in comparison to so many things, but I've got to be honest- they feel pretty big right now, just in the midst of everything going on. I don't feel like I can handle anything else... Could you please just pray for us? For my sweet little Cate? I'm thankful, really thankful, that these are little things, and just possibilities right now- all could be perfectly well!, but it's hard to not worry.
Anyway, siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Seriously.
I should get to work now, while my kiddos are still sleeping. My whole point in staying home for them to nap was for me to clean. Oops. At least I got the kitchen done? I'm grasping for straws here... we're heading to Cville for the weekend since Jordan has the jr high mission trip downtown. It'll be good to see our families. REally hoping that JD feels good enough for us to hangout some.
Oh dang, there's the footsteps. Nap time is over. Day officially wasted. Shoot!!!