Tuesday, July 14, 2009

midsummernight run

I had planned on just a run- a nice, easy run. It was my favorite time of day- nearing dusk on a midsummer night, and I was all alone... perfect conditions for an enjoyable jog. I was planning a run, and had not anticipated a stroll down memory lane. . .
As soon as I stepped on the track, my mind was racing. But once the wind blew and I breathed in the scent of rubber and corn fields, cows and fresh cut grass, I was lost in a sea of memories... Memories of the days before worries of milk-supply and mortgage payments, of a time when my focus was on mile splits and GPA's. It was the fastest a 30 minute run had ever past, it all felt so familiar, so... home.
I ran and thought. Each mark I passed brought on a different memory. I thought about being an 8th grader, running track just because Jordan was, how I loved it, how I wanted to be so good so bad. I thought about how somehow nine years had already passed since then. I remembered how almost 9 years ago to the day I made the commitment to love and follow Jesus with my life, how shortly after that I broke up with Jordan, how I still have the note my dad wrote me that said, 'Mom told me about you and Jordan. It's okay, sweetie. Just keep making Jesus your #1 priority'. I thought about how even then, I loved Jordan. I thought about where my grandma stood as I finished my first home cross-country meet, the dress I wore my freshman year on homecoming court. I thought about hooded sweatshirts and gum wrapper rings at Friday night football games. I remembered waiting for Jordan afterwards, huddling around with friends debating whose boyfriend would take longer. I remembered the way he smelled, looked, showing me his battle wounds from a grueling game. I rememberd the blistering heat of early August practice and morning runs on weekdays in early fall, the cool morning air... I remembered running until it hurt, through the hurt, past the hurt. I remembered working and planning and striving, goal-setting, evaluating. I remembered the comradery between teammates, hanging upside down from the shelter house beams, mile square repeats, ladders on the track. I remember being the last to leave as I finished that last sprint workout before state. I remembered catching bugs on the wilderness trail in 7th grade... laughing at the boy who is now my husband. I thought about being a freshman, loving and hating the catcalls of the football players as we ran past. I remembered getting ready to leave for college, and finding comfort on the paths I'd always run. I thought about the day Jordan left for California, and how I ran and cried with Kallie. I remembered the last day of highschool, covertly painting 'the rock' with a group of friends, and how we laughed and hid, laughed and ran. I remembered the years prior, the excitement for a new year, a new season, a new start.
I loved looking back, remembering, thinking on where we were, where we are now. I love that my husband is so much a part of so many memories from such a sweet time in my life. I love that I loved to run then and love to run now. I love that so much has changed, but so much has stayed the same. I love the familiarness of home, in whatever form that may come. I love the smell of corn and cows, that middle-of-summer, middle-of-nowhere, familiar smell. I love that I can look back on highschool so fondly, that, while I'd never say they were the best years of my life, they were certainly sweet. And I'm really thankful for that.


  1. I'm not sure why, but this post made me cry. Maybe because reading those words makes me "homesick" for sweet memories like those. Maybe because on some level I miss that youth. Or maybe because you just write beautifully. :)

  2. I certainly agree that I wouldn't call my years at NMHS the best years of my life, but there is so much I can remember that makes me smile. I'm glad it happened...but I'm also glad it's over. I think you're very lucky that Jordan is such a huge part of your memories. And ohmygosh, the Wilderness Trail!!! LOL!! I remember catching bugs for what, 7th grade, science? Funny.

  3. Oh yes, a stroll down memory lane with my daughter... I loved it. I needed a sweet something to drift off to sleep on..... I hope your IKEA trip was great - but I'm doubting too many bargains, since you didn't call me!? Enjoy youth camp. Me, I'm looking forward to 3:30 tomorrow afternoon.... You know why! Love you. Mom

  4. your memories brought back a lot of fun memories for me. Brian and i also have so much history all the way back to high school, and even a bit of middle school. wow. fun.


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