Thursday, February 26, 2009

Let's write this down in the record books... I have two children sleeping at the same time, and both are in their own beds. It's a miracle! Actually, after (nearly) 6 weeks of mostly co-sleeping with Cate, I think we're done. I haven't been able to get her to sleep in her cradle hardly at all.. until yesterday. After using my brain a little bit, I realized that when she sleeps next to me in bed, she sleeps on her side. But when I was laying her in the cradle, I'd put her on her back. She was constantly coughing when she'd spit up (which is very often), and her breathing wasn't sounding all that great (for some reason??). So, I put her on her side, and rolled blankets next to her so she'd feel all cozy, and she was asleep within minutes. And she has napped twice in her cradle today, with me laying her down awake!! Next challenge: getting Corban to sleep in his big boy bed. Any suggestions? Any been-there-done-that advice? I've only tried two times for naps, but they both were unsuccessful.
Tomorrow is JD's MRI. I have completely mixed emotions and don't know what to say regarding it. Please do pray.
You know, it's just hard. I wish I could say that I've got it all figured out and can just rest knowing that God's plan is perfect... but I'm not there. I realized last night during worship at church, though, that I have allowed the Lord to use this, that He is growing me, taking me deeper with Him because of this situation. It seems like each major thing has taught me something, has been a building block in preparing for the next thing. Last night I just sat and wept during worship. My heart was in a different place than it had ever been. I found myself asking the Lord to prepare my heart and enable me to maintain an attitude of praise regardless of the news the MRI brings. I was asking Him to help me cling to the fact the He is good and His ways are perfect. I was praying that He would help me to walk in saying 'God is good' and walk out, in the same spirit, saying 'God is good,' no matter what we see. For the first time, it really matters (in my heart) that God is being glorified. My prayers before have always been more centered on getting the outcome I desire, if that makes sense. And don't get me wrong... I did (and am doing) a lot of begging and pleading. Oh, I want so badly for this MRI to come back clear. I just think that my perspective has changed some, that some forward progress has been made. But- in the same breath that I was asking the Lord to be glorified, I was saying... hasn't this been enough? Can't we stop now? We're pointing people to You, there's no question about where we stand and What we cling to, so can't You just work a miracle? Cut us a break? Please?.... I've got a long way to go. I'm thankful that God sees me, takes me, loves me just as I am. I am thankful that He gives me the grace to handle these hard times, that in the moment I want to shake my fist and say forget it, He reminds me that He's real and He is love... and even enables me to see good in the midst of the trouble. Man. Yeah. God is good.
Have you heard the song 'Never Let Go' by Matt Redman? It's kind of my anthem right now. You can hear it here... but these lyrics...

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes-
Still I will praise You

that's the attitude I desire. I want to praise Him still, regardless of my circumstances.
Anyway, I'll post with the results of JD's MRI when I can. Please keep praying!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave your thoughts, questions, answers here!