Monday, December 20, 2010

end

The end of pregnancy and myself have a long history of disagreeing with one another.
The first time around, my regular contractions started at 33 weeks, and ended with a miserable induction.
The second time around, ditto to the contractions, but with a better delivery story, even though it was still planned.
This time?
I've had a day or two with an hour of regular contractions, but now... now that the end is oh-so-near and my impatience growing by the second?
Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
Okay, fine... not really nothing. I'll have a contraction. One that stops me in my tracks,even. I'll glance at my watch to see the time, just in case this is the start of labor... and then twenty minutes later, still nothing, not another one in sight.

It's making me crazy.

You realize how much you enjoy control when you have absolutely none. Can I get an amen?

I want SO BADLY... more than you can ever imagine, to have that 'real' birth experience. I want the excitement of the spontaneity, the 'oh my gosh, it's finally time! we have to get to the hospital!' moment. I want to send text messages to our best friends saying 'we're on our way to the hospital to have the baby'.... not 'we'll be going in tomorrow morning for them to break my water.'
I know this baby will be born. And it'll even be soon! My due date is 12 days away. That's not that long, really. I know God has a time planned and ordained for this little one to make its appearance... I know these things.
But I also know that Christmas is on Saturday. And that my mother in law is off of work the next two weeks, and my mom and husband are off all of next week. If you want to talk about ideal timing, we're looking at it. Couldn't be more perfect, actually.
So........ seriously- I need to have this baby ASAP.
I'm trying really hard to not let myself be cranky and miserable. Busying our days, lots planned, tons of fun activities all week long. My front room is full of both gendered baby stuff, a brand new(!!) car seat, 4 brand new baby boy newborn outfits, 4 brand new baby girl outfits (thanks, Mom!!), camera bag packed and ready, hospital bag packed and ready, 'Big Brother' and 'Big Sister' shirts laid out for Corban and Cate. Everything is in place and ready to go.
It's now just 'hurry up and wait'...
and I'm just not very good at that.
So.. yes. 12 days 'til my due date.
Never have I gone early, and yet here I sit... anxiously waiting.
So ready to meet this little one.
Ho hum.
My little boy is now up from his nap... while my little girl still hasn't even fallen asleep. Time to go.

5 comments:

  1. I hope you have that baby soon too...

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  2. I hope you can have your spontaneous birth with this baby! I know the feeling, I was induced with Israel against my wishes due to low fluid levels at 3 days over. I am hoping for the same type of spontaneous birth as you are....I do not like pitocin!!

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  3. I felt exactly that same way with Zeke's birth. He ended up being born the day after his "due" date and boy oh boy was it a "hurry up and get to the hospital situation!" :) It's getting so close now! I'll have you in my prayers in the coming days. That you would be able to rest and enjoy the last few days before Christmas w/your family without being too anxious.

    I don't if there's anything to it but let me tell you what jump-started my labor...
    RASPBERRY LEAF TEA, having the Dr. strip my membranes (ouch!), and sex. (TMI?) :)

    It's worth a try, right?

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  4. with my youngest, I had the same feelings! I'd been induced every time with the other 4. #5 was due between 1/10 and 1/15, but I was SO ready by Christmas. I was just plain tired. He was born 12/26 :) I don't wish the "excitement" (read: emergency) that I experience with his birth on anyone, but it was definitely God's timing, and it was perfect. I can't wait to read your #3 story!! God Bless & Merry Christmas!!

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  5. Keep hanging in there, Kristen! I'm praying for a great delivery for you and for it to happen on it's own. It's worth fighting for to feel your body do it on it's own!

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