broken record

I'm so bad at blogging these days. My words are many, but most of them the same.
My heart hurts.
I'm overwhelmed.
I miss my kids.
I miss my brother. Oh how badly I miss my brother.
It's been a week since he last spoke a word... many more days since a real conversation. I would give anything for him to open those big baby blues and tell me my mint gum stinks or call me 'bunkbed'. This is the most difficult thing I've faced, and honestly... I can't imagine much harder. It seems that each passing day gets harder and I feel darn near breaking point. I just miss him so much. But at the same time, I am thankful that I can curl up next to the hospital bed, kiss his cheek, hold his hand... read him the many, many cards being sent, quietly sing when the room is mostly empty, swab that dry mouth, put lotion on his hands. I'm thankful to hear him sigh, see him scrunch up his face. It's funny how life changes, how perspective changes, how love changes. If nothing else, I see myself changing and the Lord working in new ways in so many people. That's good, right?
It barely touches the sting though.

Anyway... I love this fall weather. It makes me want to run, but I'm just too wiped out. I am loving busting out the hoodies and on a crazy hunt for some stinking shoes that I can wear socks with that aren't boots or tennis shoes. I'm averaging a pumpkin spice latte a day and man-oh-man, do I love that. It was cold enough to add an extra blanket to my bed last night, and I sleep so well (typically, anyway) snuggled under lots of blankets. I love this time of year!

Does anyone want to come rip out our shower, repair the piping, etc./kitchen ceiling and install a new tub and surround? No? Dang. That's next on our URGENT to do list. I'm not talking about the master bath of death, either. Bummer.

Ummm.... my brain is done. That's all for now. Goodnight.