I've started this post a hundred times over, only to erase and restart. None of the words coming are what I really want to say... Eight and a half months out, there are days when the grief still weighs so heavily... but I don't want to go there right now, I don't. So instead, I thought I'd focus on a few of the many things about today that I have to be thankful for:
-a coffee date (at my favorite establishment, nonetheless!) with a dear friend and only her baby girl and my baby girl. a friend that I can confide in, share my heart with.
-Vacation Bible School. Not to sound like an unloving Mama... but having time with just Caters from 9-12 everyday has been really refreshing.
-Talking to Corban about his memory verse from today, "I am wonderfully made" (from psalm 139). I asked why he was wonderfully made and he said it was because God made him. He giggled as he repeated the verse back to me... Moments I wish I could bottle up and keep.
-Corban pretending to be Daddy, telling me about riding his mountain bike at camp at work.
-A husband who cooked dinner and finally turned on the air condition.
-kicking Jordan's rear in Dutch Blitz. If you don't play this game, you should. It's a vonderful goot time!
-the sun still shining as it set, even though it was pouring down rain (and even though I still didn't see a rainbow).
-Psalm 139 (go read it! outloud! it's powerful!)
- these lyrics: In sun and rain, joy and pain, You're the same. You never let go.
and the truth behind them.
-Air condition. Oh wait, did I mention that already?
Okay, Jordan's done climbing, and truthfully- I feel better.