30 days of thankful- day14

I've loved this song for awhile now.

I listened it over and over while my brother was sick, and then even more so after he died. 

I've sung it to Cate every night before bed for many months. 

I've got many associations with it... both beautiful and painful... It's a song I treasure, and I'm thankful for, for many reasons.

 

 but I just recently learned of the last verse.

and the story behind the song.

and why John Mark McMillan wrote it and when he wrote it...

(You can hear it starting about the 6:00 minute mark in the video above... and you should.)

 -----

 Oh I thought about You the day Stephen died

and You met me between my breaking

I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony

See people, they want to tell me You're cruel

but if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true

because You're good...

 'Cause He loves us...

-----

I loved the song anyway. Thought the message was powerful, so powerful anyway. But I watched a video where JMM spoke of writing the song, and I was so thankful. 

He wrote this when his heart was completely broken. One of his best friends had just died. He was torn apart, angry, confused, hurt. 

In the video, he talked about how he's not talking about a pretty, happy love... but a love that is willing to love the messy 

and broken 

and difficult 

and gross. 

He said he wanted to write about how in his anger and frustration and resentment God could still love him through that, that He wasn't offended by it. 

Through tears, he talked about how after 7 years it's still really tough. 

He said the song is 'not a celebration of weakness and anger, but a celebration of a God who would want to hang with us through those things, despite those things.'

'That's the kind of love I'm talking about,' he finished the video saying.

 -----

Oh am I ever thankful for a God who loves in this way.

I spent much of the last year being messy and broken and difficult and gross... 

but I experience the goodness of God, His faithfulness and love like never before.

Oh, how He loves us!

30 days of thankful- days 11 and 12

-sweatpants. For real. If you've ever been 34 weeks pregnant, you can understand the depth of my gratitude.
-dinner with new(ish) friends.
-a little boys' first bike ride with his dad... Making a whole lap around the elementary school and then some!
-a new lens for my camera (35mm 2.0)
-being caught up on work (next up- laundry!)
-Cate nicknaming her big brother and only referring to him as 'Corbaniah'
-a husband who is willing to rub my back 687346 times per day
-ice water
-anticipating seeing my grandparents from Mississippi this week, a mini marriage retreat this weekend, and celebrating my brothers 30TH birthday! A good, full week ahead.
-going to bed at 10 p.m. On Saturday night. (ptl for bedtime, this girl is exhuasted!)
So blessed... So thankful.
Goodnight!

30 days of thankful- day 10/33 weeks

Pretty much I'm thankful for today, start to finish.
We had another great day of staycation. This was the first one that really seemed 'vacation' like- and it was wonderful. We went out for breakfast, made a not-so-quick stop at Kohl's and then went on to our local state park. I SO wish I would've had my camera... we went 'exploring' and ended up in a dried up creek bed and then eventually found water, and it was beautiful and a ton of fun. It was good to just be hanging out and enjoying being a family... and the perfect 70 degrees and sunny sure didn't hurt anything either. :)
We had to postpone our date night from last night to tonight because Cate ran a fever and was lethargic and grumpy most of the day yesterday. Thankfully, she seemed more herself today and our wonderful Aunt Rita and Uncle Kurt were free to keep them tonight, too. We decided to try out a restaurant we'd never been to before and went to Houlihan's down at the outdoor mall. We had Parmesan frites as an appetizer (fries, really) and I enjoyed a DELICIOUS meal of chicken skewers with peanut cilantro pesto and a spinach salad with blueberries and kiwi in poppyseed dressing. Jordan had the norm: bacon cheeseburger with bbq and ranch, and he was also pleased with his choice. We walked around, got dessert (carmel pistachio gelato for him, toffee crunch latte for me) and purchased new slip-slips (slippers) for the kiddos. We also made an exciting stop at the grocery store, and ended up just sitting and talking for a good while before getting the kids. It was really wonderful just to be together... I love hearing his heart, listening to what God is doing in the man I love so much. It's amazing to see the Lord speaking the same thing to both of us, challenging us and asking us to go deeper still... calling us to be men and women of prayer.
Anyway, it was really just a perfect day.
And now, if you'll cue the music and sing along... "You're so vain..." I'm going to post a few pictures that we took of me before going out tonight. As I mentioned a few days prior, I got my hair cut this weekend. We made an agreement that she'd cut my hair and I'd take pictures for her to put in her portfolio on her website-- she has a ton of clients with short hair and wanted to add some variety on her site.
Believe it or not, when we finished cutting (and thinning) my hair, there was an unbelievable amount of hair on the floor... it looked like we got rid of a ton. We only took an inch or two off the length, but added layers and thinned it out. I'm really pleased with how it turned out. I loved it when I straightened it, and tonight this took all of 5 minutes to do after washing it. So, without further ado... here's me (along with my 33 week pregnant belly):

Oh, p.s.- props to my husband for taking the pictures! :)

30 days of thankful- day 9

See the post below. I'm really excited and thankful for that!!!
I magic erased, clorox wiped, and murphy oiled every inch of kitchen space today... counters, cabinets, walls, floors. It sparkles in there- and for the first time in the history of home ownership, I'm 100% satisfied with it, it's perfect, exactly as I want it. We laid ceramic tile when we moved in, and I liked it- but it looked and felt cold, and then it cracked and broke. We found the new floor ridiculously marked down Christmas eve last year and it was exactly what I was wanting. I LOVE IT!!!!!
Also- I will throw in a major 'I'm thankful for' for my in-laws. They came up Monday morning, and Jerry (my father-in-law) stayed until this evening helping with numerous projects around the house... along with letting us sleep in while he played with the kids, and staying here for us to go on our mini-date last night. I could write a million words on how thankful I am for them- far far far beyond just helping the last few days around here- but I've been staring at this computer screen for too many hours (editing, of course) and I'm ready for bed. One day, oh maybe one day... I'll get to really write. Once I'm all caught up on editing, I'll have the freedom to do so again. And I'm getting really close. Like two sessions away from having some breathing room. My goal is to finish tomorrow. We'll see though. :) Okay. I'm done. Adios. See you tomorrow.

my NEW kitchen!!

 I love it!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOO excited!!!

Time to go eat in it. :)

30 days of thankful- day 8

I'm thankful that I'm out on a mini-date with my husband... just the two of us at Starbucks. :)
We've spent the last hour and a half editing photos (me) and reading (him) and listening to Brit Merrick preach... sharing earbuds, might I add (so romantic-haha).
I love this man!
And I love being out with just him. And laughing. We do a lot of that, you know. We tried really hard to get a picture from the webcam and couldn't figure it out... and then took about 967 bad ones from the iphone... only to not be able to figure out how to post it here. But we got a good laugh out of both and now our time is up and it's time to go home.
Tomorrow night we have not just a mini-date, but a real, full-blown, night on the town date- just the two of us, for hours. I'm wearing a semi-new dress and heels and I can't wait. In case you were wondering, you know. :)
Goodnight!

30 days of thankful- day 7

Another simple post- this time from my computer- but still, I'm way behind on this thing called sleep... and I've had little time on the computer- which has been really nice, to be honest. I took two whole days off from doing any sort of editing or anything like that. It was refreshing, and now I'm ready to pound out these last few sessions before taking a mini-break before 'launching' kristenmcg photography. Exciting stuff. Why am I talking about all of this right now? I'm rambling... onto the thankful.
Today, I'm really thankful that I can barely remember my kitchen looking like this:

 

If I weren't on my laptop, I'd show you some other 'before' type of pictures of our house. Our kitchen, though, has seen numerous transitions and is in the middle of yet another. Last Christmas Eve we bought new flooring, and today, we're about 4 feet shy of having the new floor down. I'm really really pleased with how it's looking- can't wait for it to be finished tomorrow!

This picture gives me hope and makes me so glad. One- we've come a loooooooooong way. Two, we have a house, a home... and I love it here. It has become our home. It's comfortable and cozy- I love being here. I love that we've transformed it and made it ours, that it's plenty spacious, that people can and do gather here. Provision beyond what we could've imagined- and I am so thankful for this place.

Lastly, despite the uproar seen in just about every inch of living space right now, it has been much, much worse here. The things we have to do now- the things that are tremendously hanging over my head and making me crazy- are far less hard, time consuming, and costly than most of what we've already accomplished. I am really thankful that it's not 'everything but gutting drywall' that needs to be done now. Instead, it's throwing unnecessary things away, simplifying, getting rid of clothes (again. always. continually), finding places for the things that used to be in the 2.5 closets we did away with, deep cleaning every inch. The time is very near, my friends, when that amazing little instinct called nesting takes over. I'm right on the brink- I bought more household cleaners tonight than I have in months and I am giddy with excitement. I've got lists of things to scrub and boil flowing from my brain. I'm plotting and planning and so looking forward to getting these things checked off my list. In case you've missed majority of my other blog posts, this is very contrary to my normal nature. I love this aspect of pregnancy. :) 

So tonight, I'm really thankful for our home, but especially the work that's we've already done in our house, meaning we have that much less to do now. Some day when I have time, I'd like to do a 'house tour' of sorts- with before and after pictures and all. It's really an amazing transformation, and we finally have more finished rooms than unfinished- and that's an amazing feeling.

With that, I need to go sleep so that I can one day have the energy to actually do the things I'm dreaming of. Staycation is wonderful!

See you tomorrow!